Aileen Wuornos is My Homie.

It's a no-brainer, right?

If christian rightwing nutjobs like Rush Limbaugh and Michael Coren can justify George Zimmerman's killing of a black adolescent in Florida, then Aileen Wuornos deserves a posthumous pardon - using the same logic they've deployed to exonerate Trayvon Martin's execution.

Imagine the following scenario: Long-gun-toting (thanks for C-19, CONs!) feminists patrol the highways and streets of the state of Florida in the hope of encountering slobbering pigs like Coren and Limbaugh so they can blow their heads off.

Stand by your ground defense: "Officer, I was checking the outside of the motel to make sure it was safe for the families staying here and I saw this pervert prowling around, looking for a little girl or a little boy to molest. He said bad cuss words and made rude, threatening sexual gestures at me so I had to protect myself."

A credible source once told me that Coren owns an impressive collection of porn that features nubile girls, so it shouldn't be difficult after the fact to prove one's claim.

Even Michelle *Howler Monkey* Malkin can join in the fun! C'mon down, Michelle - you can bury your anchor baby embarassment by blowing away those drooling, racist, fat white men who keep you down. Use the Feminazi Panic Defense©™!

Viva Thelma and Louise!!!

Okay, all kidding aside, go read this, this and this.

Sauce for the Gander

Since the TeaBaggers took over so many state houses in the US, the Fetus Lobby has been revelling in an orgy of abortion restrictions.

Lately, though, female politicians have been pushing back. The birth control idiocy going on now seems to have revved things considerably.

We've reported on a few of them. Mostly, they are amendments to draconian legislation aimed at women's reproductive health. The push-back is aimed at men's health and sexuality.

One from Virginia would mandate a physical including rectal exam for men wanting prescriptions for limp-dick syndrome. File that one under 'unnecessary medical procedures intended to punish and humiliate'.

Another from Georgia asserts a state interest in men's reproduction and bans vasectomies.

House Minority Leader Stacey Abrams added, “The Republican attack on women’s reproductive rights is unconscionable. What is more deplorable is the hypocrisy of HB 954’s author. If we follow his logic, we believe it is the obligation of this General Assembly to assert an equally invasive state interest in the reproductive habits of men and substitute the will of the government over the will of adult men.”

Similarly, a female state senator in Oklahoma proposed an Every Sperm Is Sacred amendment.

any action in which a man ejaculates or otherwise deposits semen anywhere but in a woman's vagina shall be interpreted and construed as an action against an unborn child.

And there's more. In Florida, state senator Eleanor Sobel introduced EIGHT amendments to what opponents are calling an 'omnibus anti-choice bill'.

In that bill are requirements for abortion providers to undergo regular ethics training and for clinics to be wholly owned and operated by licensed doctors.

Sobel's amendments are rather pointed.

In response to the ethics training provision of the bill, Sobel introduced an amendment requiring that a “legislator who offers to vote or who votes on legislation relating to human reproduction must annually complete a minimum of 3 hours of continuing education related to ethics.”

Much like a measure recently introduced in Georgia in response to anti-abortion legislation, Sobel also offered an amendment that regulates vasectomies and treatment for erectile dysfunction.

According to her amendment:

A vasectomy or treatment for erectile dysfunction may not be performed except with the voluntary and informed consent of the patient, or in the case of a mental incompetent, the voluntary and informed written consent of his court-appointed guardian. Except in the case of a medical emergency, consent to a vasectomy or treatment for erectile dysfunction is voluntary and informed only if the physician orally, in person, informs the patient of the nature and risks of undergoing or not undergoing the proposed procedure or treatment which a reasonable patient would consider material to making a knowing and willful decision at least 24 hours before the vasectomy is performed or the treatment is provided.

Sobel also introduced an amendment that would require that CPCs [crisis pregnancy centres, aka Fake Clinics] be “wholly owned and operated by one or more physicians who received residency training in performing dilation-and-curettage and dilation-and evacuation procedures or by a professional corporation or limited liability company composed solely of one or more such physicians.”

She didn't even get to present all her amendments, which were characterized as 'designed to waste time' by a ReThug.

Um. No. They are designed to mock and ridicule.

Weirdly, Sobel thought she was entitled to speak not only because she is a duly elected state senator, but because:

Sobel pointed out to the committee that she had the right to say something as “the only woman in the committee.”

Wow. One woman. An improvement over this though.



ADDED: Great minds and ganders.

That's Spring Spheres to you, bunny!

Every year I find a news item or an urgent issue that inspires a post about Easter.

In 2011, this has to be the one.

A teenager volunteering at a Seattle elementary school was apparently told to use the politically correct name “spring spheres” when she tried giving kids plastic Easter eggs filled with candy.

But a Seattle school board spokesperson told the Star it has not been able to confirm whether the incident actually happened.

“They said I could do it as long as I called the treats ‘spring spheres.’ I couldn’t call them Easter eggs,” a 16-year-old named Jessica told a Seattle radio station.

Ah, "political correctness", a term now pejoratively used by those who are too intellectually lazy, too ideologically religious or too politically entrenched to accept a challenge to their bigotry.

The incident above sounds like a humour-challenged fundamentalist misunderstood a comment or invented one to create the perception that there's some anti-christian "War on Easter" being waged.

That's actually quite amusing, given the pagan origins of Easter and the christians' systemic appropriation of beliefs and traditions that pre-date the alleged resurrection of their saviour.

Consider the squeamishness of RWNJ (right wing nut jobs) when certain words from *down there* are uttered publicly. From here:

At one point [Democratic State Representative Scott] Randolph suggested that his wife "incorporate her uterus" to stop Republicans from pushing measures that would restrict abortions. Republicans, after all, wouldn't want to further regulate a Florida business.

Apparently the GOP leadership of the House didn't like the one-liner.

They told Democrats that Randolph is not to discuss body parts on the House floor.

This led to a hysterically witty tweet campaign, in response to the Republican Stoopidity, with evocative Twitter hashtags: #uterati #GOPnames4uterus #OMGuterus #uterusmovielines, and more.

And also. The Raging Grannies sing out in their typical fashion.

Speaking of eggs ...

Making progress against fake pregnancy clinics

If you look hard, there are signs of sanity in the Excited States over abortion.

First up, Florida.

Since 2004, fake pregnancy clinics, aka 'crisis pregnancy centres', have been receiving state funding -- to the tune of $8 million so far.

The Florida Independent has taken an interest.

Last month, it reported on the lies these outfits tell.

Crisis Pregnancy Centers, funded by the state of Florida, are distributing brochures that suggest abortion causes mental illness, including depression, addiction and suicide. In the best case, the information handed out is biased; in the worst case, sources say, it is wrong.

Oh, and look whose work they're citing -- our pal David Reardon of the we-will-change-our-name-to-anything-a-really-big-donor-wants, Elliot Institute.

This brochure cites several authors — including, again, Reardon, an important source of information distributed by pregnancy centers.

“This situation reminds me of the religious-based abstinence-only sex education in public schools,” says Rob Boston, senior policy analyst for Americans United for Separation of Church and State. “As a general rule, government should not be in the business of furthering religion.”

“Nobody disputes their right to exist, but if state money is involved we think they should be up front about their goals,” Boston adds.

Florida Pregnancy Care Network Executive Director Susan Grimsley would not answer questions about the brochures, directing all queries regarding the state crisis pregnancy program to the Department of Health.

Rob Hayes, the DOH of communications office, has indicated answers will be forthcoming, but after more than a week, The Florida Independent has not received any further response.

The Florida Independent stayed on the story. The Florida fake clinics are run by two groups, the nonprofit Florida Pregnancy Care Network and the for-profit Uzzell Group.

What the heck is the Uzzell Group? the Independent wondered. And looked into it.

The Florida Pregnancy Care Network manages 55 of these state-funded pregnancy clinics, but according to Department of Health information, another 17 are handled by The Uzzell Group, a Tallahassee-based marketing and advertising firm. Why is a marketing company managing pregnancy clinics? The firm wouldn’t answer our questions.

The Florida Independent spoke with Erica Uzzell, identified as the person in charge of The Uzzell Group’s clinics, how the company manages those pregnancy centers. She said, “Any questions about the program will be answered by the Department of Health communication office.” We were also told to visit the Uzzell website to learn more about the company. The site is currently being remodeled: There is no information there aside from a phone and fax number and an email address.

The story goes on to document all kinds of interesting ties between the Uzzells and the state of Florida. The couple seems to be, shall we say, very well connected politically. (The Uzzell website is still under construction.)

Staying with the story, last week the paper reported that the Department of Health has no fucking clue what is being done with taxpayer money.

Department of Health records obtained by The Florida Independent show that oversight of Florida’s state-funded crisis pregnancy clinic chain mainly rests in the hands of the two organizations contracted by the state to run those clinics — the nonprofit Florida Pregnancy Care Network and the for-profit Uzzell Group.

That means the Department of Health has little direct insight into how public money is being spent at 79 crisis pregnancy centers around the state, and if those dollars are being used to disseminate disputed science on abortion or to promote religious content.

Fishy, yes? But then, running fake clinics is an excellent racket, especially when the racketeers are feeding at the public trough.

Stay on it, Independent. I'll be following the story.

Next up, New York City.

Following the excellent lead taken by Baltimore and Austin, Texas, New York is going to force the fake clinics to tell the truth.

The City Council plans to unveil legislation Tuesday that would establish strict disclosure requirements for crisis-pregnancy centers, some of which, abortion-rights advocates charge, deceive women into believing they're full-serve reproductive health facilities by masking their antiabortion agenda.

The legislation, backed by Speaker Christine Quinn, would require the centers to disclose to clients that they do not provide abortion services or contraceptive devices, or make referrals to organizations that do. Centers that don't have licensed medical providers onsite would also have to disclose that information.

Great. Also on Tuesday NARAL Pro-Choice New York will release a year-in-the-making report on what they call the 'lies, manipulations and privacy violations' of these centres.

We've heard it all before, of course, but as progressive places investigate the lying liars and then act to restrict the damage they do, more people will hear about this form of fetus fetishizing racketeering.

Just Astonishing

What's next after mandatory ultrasounds, including those offered by Christianist-run fake clinics, mandatory bullshit lectures on fetal development, mandatory waiting periods, invasive reporting requirements, etc., etc., etc.?

Mandatory ultrasounds that the abortion-seeking woman must view and pay for herself.

Florida's Republican-led Senate pushed through an 11th-hour provision Wednesday that would require women seeking an abortion in their first trimester of pregnancy to pay for ultrasound exams.

The amendment, which had not been debated during committee meetings, was attached to a health care bill (HB 1143) by a 22-17 vote following two hours of emotional debate.

Oh. Wait. There's an exception for victims of rape, domestic violence, or incest. With two enormous buts.

One, the victim has to 'prove' she's a victim. How the hell does one do that?

Two -- and this is just astonishing:

Victims of such crimes would still be required to have the ultrasound exam and pay for the procedure, which lawmakers estimated average between $350 and $400.

Such victims would, however, be permitted to avert their eyes.

Such mercy.

The bill has passed both the senate and the house and has gone to be signed or vetoed by Governor Charlie Crist, who is facing his own political troubles. A moderate Republican -- yeah, they apparently still exist -- Crist wants to run for the federal senate, but he got teabagged for the Republican nomination. He is running as an independent.

Abortion is still legal in the Excited States, remember. Access to abortion though is becoming increasingly encased in state-level barbwire and triplines dreamed up by fetus fetishizing sadists.

And remember too -- we have people here in Canada who want to put restrictions on abortion. And once they get started -- well, we have only to look south to see how far they can go.

ADDED: To answer the regina mom's question in the comments, I reread recent blogpost. In soshalist Canada, an ultrasound costs $65.

Slut-Shaming Law Rejected

Oklahoma's panty-sniffing, slut-shaming legislation is declared unconstitutional.

Called the Statistical Reporting of Abortions Act, the law would have required all doctors to file information on a woman's age, marital status, education level, number of previous pregnancies, cost and type of abortion, as well as the mother's relationship to the father, with the Oklahoma Department of Health.

Though it did not ask for names, the form posed 37 questions detailing a woman's personal situation. Critics say the first eight questions alone could easily lead to the identification of a woman who lives in one of the state's many small communities.

Doctors who fail to provide information would face criminal sanctions and loss of their medical license.

Sadly, it was found unconstitutional not because of its prurience or invasiveness, but because it violated the state's requirement that legislation deal with one subject only.

So, natch, the old white male farts in the state leg are working on new bills that do address single aspects of a woman's right to bodily autonomy.

But the Oklahomans are a bunch of pikers compared to Florida Baptist-minister-turned-legislator, Charles Van Zant.

Rep. Charles Van Zant, R-Keystone Heights, cites the state and federal Constitutions, as well as the Declaration of Independence, in asserting that all people are "endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, and that the first among these rights is the right to life." Nearly one-third of his "Florida for Life Act" is devoted to legislative "findings," including statements that life begins at conception and that the high court’s 1973 and 1992 rulings legalizing abortion were wrong.

The bill also states that about 50 million abortions have occurred since the Roe v. Wade ruling 37 years ago. It contends that "the standard of decency of the people of this state has evolved" to a point that the people of Florida want the ruling reversed.

"I’m the brand-new kid on the block, as far as being in politics, but I believe that this appeals to the will of our people," Van Zant said in an interview. "I believe it is the will of the Lord but beyond that, this country was founded on a Constitution that was a flat-out attack on every act that would take rights away from the people — and the very first of those is life, which includes the unborn."

Stephanie Kunkel, state director of Planned Parenthood, called the bill "totally unconstitutional." She said polls and experience in other states show the public to be pro-choice, although the Republican-run Legislature leans the other way to varying degrees.

"This is the most rigid and inflexible ban on abortion in the United States," said Kunkel. "Not only does it ban abortion, it also has absolutely no exceptions for rape or incest."

The only exception would be to save the life of the mother but the approval of two doctors would be required.

Take that, Roe v. Wade!

Hear that dog whistle?

There is something rotten in the state of Florida.

First, there was the anti-abortion crusaders with an initiative called The "Personhood Amendment" that would add new terms to the state constitution, defining someone as a "person," regardless of age or health status, "from the beginning of the biological development of that human being." The organization behind this move was likely the American Life League, a socially conservative Virginia-based organization that is supporting similar amendments in over 20 US states. Critics of this amendment say that it could make it illegal to provide birth control pills in Florida. More here.

Then the case of Samantha Burton, currently before the Florida appeals court.

In March 2009, a Leon County circuit judge ordered Samantha Burton, a pregnant mother of two, to be confined to Tallahassee Memorial Hospital and undergo all medical treatments proposed by her doctor to save the fetus she was carrying. Burton’s child was eventually delivered by cesarean section, but was stillborn.

Burton had experienced problems with her pregnancy, and her doctors had suggested she be hospitalized. But Burton wanted to explore other options and declined to be admitted. Doctors, saying they feared for the viability of the pregnancy, then got a judge to order Burton to be confined to the hospital.

Lawyers for Burton and the American Civil Liberties Union argued that Burton – and in similar circumstances, other women – was in the best position to make such a decision and that the court ignored Burton’s right to privacy. They also argued that the circuit court relied improperly on a legal standard that focused on the best interest of the child.

“There was never any finding of what was in the best interest of Samantha Burton,” said her attorney David Abrams. ACLU attorney Diana Kasden, who also represented the American Medical Women’s Association, submitted a supporting brief on behalf of Burton, and argued that many obstetricians and medical groups argue that working with the mother is usually what is in the best interest of both he mother and child because it keeps the situation low stress.

Burton was not refusing medical treatment, Kasden argued, but simply wanted to be able to go home with her two other children. Other options could have been pursued, she said, such as home nursing, and noted that if the appeals court sided with the state it would set an “unconstitutional and dangerous precedent.”

More here.

And now we have the insufferably self-righteous Pam Tebow. JJ at unrepentant old hippie has raised some interesting questions about the validity - or "truthiness" - of some of Tebow's claims, here.

William Selatan wrote a powerful piece for Slate: The Invisible Dead The grisly truth about the Super Bowl abortion ad. He looks beyond the religious fervour and focuses on the hard realities of pregnancies that become complicated and go bad. He injects a reality check into the hoo-haw of wishful thinking and religious zealotry.

Pam's story certainly is moving. But as a guide to making abortion decisions, it's misleading. Doctors are right to worry about continuing pregnancies like hers. Placental abruption has killed thousands of women and fetuses. No doubt some of these women trusted in God and said no to abortion, as she did. But they didn't end up with Heisman-winning sons. They ended up dead.

Being dead is just the first problem with dying in pregnancy. Another problem is that the fetus you were trying to save dies with you. A third problem is that your existing kids lose their mother. A fourth problem is that if you had aborted the pregnancy, you might have gotten pregnant again and brought a new baby into the world, but now you can't.

Perhaps as more facts comes to light regarding the actual circumstances of Pam Tebow's choice, it will serve to inform the public and set the record straight about the odious lies and murderous propaganda that The Fetus©™ fetishists constantly fabricate.

"The Pill Kills" - Florida Version.

Those Wacky Rightwing Womb-bats are at it again! Yes zygote zealots in Florida are attempting to bring their own brand of lunacy to the state legislature.

Anti-abortion conservatives are proposing a new constitutional amendment that critics claim would make it a crime to take birth control pills in Florida.

The "Personhood Amendment" that conservative activists are filing today in Tallahassee would add language to the state constitution that defines someone as a "person," regardless of age or health status, "from the beginning of the biological development of that human being." ...

On the group's side is the American Life League, a socially conservative Virginia-based organization that is supporting similar amendments in about two dozen states. The national group spent $250,000 on a campaign that put a similar question on Colorado's ballot in 2008. Voters rejected that measure roughly 3-1.

Though the wording of that proposal differs from the one pending in Florida, their meanings are similar. The 2008 proposal in Colorado defined human beings at "the moment of fertilization." The Florida amendment refers to "the beginning of the biological development," which McEwen defined in a Thursday interview to mean a fertilized egg.

That, opponents say, would make it a crime not just to kill a fetus by abortion, but also to prevent a fertilized egg from implanting in a woman's uterus as birth control pills can. "By their definition, anything that you might do to interfere with the implantation of a fertilized egg would be tantamount to murder," said Marc Farinella, a campaign consultant for Florida Chief Financial Officer Alex Sink, presumptive Democratic candidate for governor.

As described by the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, birth control pills and intrauterine devices work partly by causing the lining of the uterus to thin, "making it less likely that a fertilized egg can attach to it."

And what about those eggs? It always about the pre-hatched, um, pre-born - doesn't anybody crusade for the pre-fertilized ones?