A Beauty Pageant Too Far

Time Magazine writer Joel Stein was on the radio talking about his experience at the Rapeublican National Convention. And got into trouble with this:

“The conservative protesters, all they do is read the bible…all they do is read scripture and have giant, giant pictures of dead fetuses,” Stein responded.

“I’ve seen so many bloody fetuses that I can literally tell good looking fetuses from ugly fetuses,” Stein added, much to the amusement of the hosts.

Stein then suggested that the dead fetuses should be entered into a beauty pageant.

“I wanted to walk around and pick a “Miss Fetus,” he remarked.

Predictably, LifeShite had a hissy fit: NOT funny.

So, some of us at DJ!, being Vicious Abortion Crusaders® and all, thought it would be fun to stage a Dead Fetus Beauty Pageant. But some of us here at DJ! have for-shit photoshop skills and so we appealed for help to Our Lovely and Talented Mad Skillz Crew.

Who said: Yuck. No way. You're on your own mucking about with dead fetus gore pr0n.

Some of us whined: How about watermelon fetuses. Not even a Watermelon Fetus Beauty Pageant?

*crickets*

As a consolation prize, we were offered this.

ST. LOUIS -- Now children don't have to wait until they are 3 or 4 years old to participate in a major beauty contest. Thanks to the first annual Little Miss Fetus U.S.A. Contest to be held next month in St. Louis, it will be possible for babies to win prizes and fame while still in the womb.

"If a baby hasn't participated in a beauty pageant by the third trimester, it's too late," said event organizer Shay Dee Mann. "All of the other fetuses will have a head start that will be hard to overcome."

Judges will mark scores in five main events: Best Ultrasound Presentation, Talent Show, Question & Answer, Amniotic Swimsuit Competition, and Closest Mother-Fetus Lookalike.

While these events may seem difficult to televise, the pageant's press kit boasts, "Modern technology makes this easy. We can show real-time ultrasound images, and more developed participants can communicate by kicking -- once for 'no', twice for 'yes'. The talent portion is quite fascinating to watch."

There's something about beauty pageants, fetus fetishists and DJ! that keeps getting us into trouble too, like the Time guy.