Wednesday, 4 July 2012

Fun in the Emergency Room

So, I fucked my knee about five weeks ago. I didn't think anything was broken and was persuaded by my own Internet-aided diagnosis that there was little to be done until swelling went down.

Knee is much better, but at the nagging urging of sweetie, I promised to have it assessed and because I've got a gig starting Friday, I decided today was the day.

Emerg is a happening place. We had the screaming woman telling everyone she had rights and her husband was going to sue everyone's asses off. Screams got louder:'What are you giving me? You can't give me meds without my permission. What are you giving me?'

Three strangers sitting in a row muttered, 'Tranquilizers'.

We had querulous old folks, truculent young folks in handcuffs, pissed-off weekend warriors, and weeping young women.

But it wasn't the screamers and weepers that got to me.

For quite a long time I was parked between a South Asian couple speaking I don't know what language quietly and a pair of kinda blowsy broads in their 60s.

I couldn't understand the couple but I kept catching words, some in English, some seemingly in French or Italian. So that was driving me a little nuts.

I hadn't been paying attention to the blowsy broads until one of them started talking about Abraham and Moses and I listened enough to understand these were the biblical guys. Okey-dokey, then, tuned out.

Tuned back in when same woman started in on partial-birth abortions and how 'they leave the babeez in cupboards to die'. Eek.

The next line did it. Said absolutely seriously: 'It's a blood sacrifice'.

I hopped up and went to join the pissed-off weekend warrior.

Luckily, it was near the end for me. Yup, fracture. Appointment made with Fracture Clinic next week.

And I was outta there.

Clearly, hanging in Emerg can be dangerous to one's mental health.


Sixth Estate said...

What makes this all the more hilarious is that I'm fairly certain the Moses and Abraham myths aren't good examples of God's love for children, let alone fetuses.

fern hill said...

Ah. Not being real up on my bibble stories, didn't catch that. Quite right, Sixth.

But then when did logic and consistency ever figure in the primitive religious mind?

Jeri 2.0 said...

You should have told the blowsy boob that you'd heard they refrigerate the babeez so that USian atheists can come buy them and feast on them during our rituals.

Might have needed tranquilizer cocktails all around at that point. :)

JJ said...

You could have told that blowsy broad the Legend of the Sweet & Sour Fetus Soup! She would have swooned with indignance, and you wouldn't have had to listen to her yammering.

Sorry to hear about your knee. I know how bad it can get, I've got a bad knee too (broke into a million pieces in a motor vehicle accident 35 years ago). When you fuck them up they take forever to resolve. Be careful! Keep your leg raised.

fern hill said...

Yes. RICE. Rest. Ice. Compression. Elevation.

I was monster Ice Maiden first few days. Read something about 'swelling management being key' to healing.

Might have overdone it though. Knee heading despite fracture.

Who knows what's next? Thank gord for socialized medicine.

Sixth Estate said...

Well, you've got me on that one, I'll admit. :-)

I'm sure any God who thought it would be funny to see if he could talk a zealous follower into murdering his own kid ALSO firmly believes that any society that doesn't bestow personhood at the moment of conception is on the road to a holocaust!

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