Tuesday, 17 May 2011

If you feel better. . .

Just over a week ago, a very dear friend had a stroke. The bleeding kind, not the blockage kind, as I and her friends and family are learning from daily email updates from her partner, J. Fifty per cent of people die in the first two days after one of these.

But still it's bad. She's in in ICU. Controlling blood pressure is a struggle and now there's a respiratory infection. J uses the word 'alert'. She's not much.

I can't do a thing for her. Her partner, a class A type if there ever was one, is with her and advocating for her. He's probably driving hospital staff nuts but M is lucky to have him there.

Not long ago, my sweetie/partner was in an ICU. Totally different cricumstances -- and less dire -- but I know something of what J is going through.

So I offered him help. Load of laundry, feed the cats, run errands. . .

The daily emails are hard to read. J is obviously processing a ton of information and trying to relay it straightforwardly. He's tired and repeats himself.

And he has to deal with her friends and family. I found these addenda to a recent update really moving.
PS Thanks for more offers of help. If I need help, I'll ask.
PPS Now might not be the time for cards as M won't appreciate them yet and the ICU isn't a place you can put anything up. If you feel better sending cards, then use our home address and I'll save them until the appropriate time. (M would have known what say on this topic and how to say it better. I hope I haven't botched this too badly.)

I think he said it brilliantly.


Beijing York said...

My heart goes out to M and J and hope recovery is soon on the horizon, fern.

And fern, you obviously are a very dear friend. Hugs to you. (I know you're not much of a cat person...)

fern hill said...

Thanks, BY.

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