What If Sarah Palin Were Black?

Chauncey DeVega answers:

So, let's play a game of fill in the blanks. I will start:

If Sarah Palin were black she would have disappeared into obscurity long ago.

If Sarah Palin were black, her daughter's out of wedlock, "baby daddy drama" would have been presented as an example of both pathological behavior and a dysfunctional family that is symbolic of the social problems in that community. If Sarah Palin were black, never would the poor decision making by the Palin family be marked off as challenges overcome, or deeds to be valorized.

Here's the blogpost, linked to at Alternet, that seems to have inspired that piece. It's by the same author at We Are Respectable Negroes and it is hilarious.

Because of the hole in the space time continuum created by the Large Hadron Collider, the Niggaro Universe has overwritten the universe of We Are Respectable Negroes. Scientists are diligently working to correct this problem, and it should be rectified in the next few days. For now, because of the influence of this alternate reality things are changed. Our Barack Obama is now "Barack O'Bama," a white Republican, Sarah Palin is a black Democrat, Joe Biden is Joe Biden but just a Republican, and John McCain is a maverick, Democratic populist. Zora, Gordon, and Chauncey have been replaced by their doppelgangers from the Niggaro Universe. They are the same, yet different. If you too have been changed by the disruption of the space time continuum do not feel obligated to resist. Instead, indulge your new self until this Crisis on Negro Earths is remedied.

Oh. Look. Another Shiny Desperate Thing

Totally despicable photo-opportunism.

Prime Minister Stephen Harper, who has made relief and reconstruction for Haiti a major cause for his government, will travel to the earthquake-ravaged nation on Monday to see the recovery efforts firsthand.

I sooooooo want this goon gone.

If you agree, put your chequebook where your heart and mind are.

And if the MSM had any integrity, they'd ignore it.

Yeah. I know. Fat chance.

How's that Canadian Mavericky-Roguey Thing Working Out for Ya, Sarah?

Remember the brouhaha over $arah Palin's invitation to speak at a fundraiser for a socialist, abortion-loving hospital with death panels that was hurriedly changed to a fundraiser for children?

Well, it seems the event is not quite the hot ticket its proponents envisioned.

Tickets are still available to hear a potential American presidential candidate in Hamilton.

Despite one organizer's prediction in December that the April 15 visit of Sarah Palin to Hamilton would be sold out within two weeks, good seats remain available.

Organizers have just launched a marketing campaign to sell tickets and attract more sponsors to the fundraiser at Carmen's Banquet Centre for the Charity of Hope, which helps underprivileged children.

They refuse to say how many tickets they have sold, but Carmen's is making room for 1,000 people to hear the former Alaskan governor and vice-presidential running mate of Republican candidate John McCain.

(snip)

Tickets are $200 a person, but $1,000 will get you an opportunity to meet her, have your photograph taken with her and an autographed copy of her bestselling book Going Rogue.

Her plunge in USian polls may be catching on up here.

AFTERTHOUGHT: Wonder if dodo went for the $200 breathless-to-be-in-the-same-room ticket or the moist-panties-for-months-to-come (snerk) dealie?

Just in Time for the Holiday

A new emergency contraception drug.

I believe that women should be given as many options as possible to help prevent unintended pregnancies.

So I'm keen to spread the news that a new longer-acting emergency contraceptive pill is now available.

The new pill, ellaOne, can be taken up to five days after unprotected sex - that's two days later than the current morning-after pill, Levonelle.

It has been available on prescription since October but few people have heard about it, so I want to let women know it's something they can ask their doctor for in an emergency.

ellaOne is the brand name.Ulipristal acetate is the chemical name.

So far it is available only in in Europe and only with a prescription.

The extra time afforded by this drug may be critical in certain cases -- such as a rape victim too scared to report the crime immediately, or, as Antonia reports, a woman who discovers that her contraception regime is being sabotaged by her partner.

The fetus fetishists -- you know where to find them -- are of course SHRIEEEKING about yet another way we evul Culturists of Death can murder single-celled organisms.

But by offering two more days to act to prevent an unwanted pregnancy, this drug will no doubt prevent abortions.

And isn't that what the fetishists supposedly want?

Yeah. That was rhetorical.

Still Baffled, with Fun Links Added

When I've occasionally watched Olympic opening ceremonies, I've been grateful for commentary that attempts to explain otherwise baffling symbols, songs, choreography, and whatnot.

Who knew I'd need such commentary for games being held in Canada?

Wasn't that one of the weirdest experiences you've ever had? I wasn't going to watch and in fact watched not much -- I hadda keep leaving the room out of embarrassment, bewilderment, or to get another drink.

First, who the hell was that broad auditioning for 'American Idol' with the Canadian national anthem? I muted it, but that wasn't enough. Her squirming was driving me batshit insane.

I left the room. Got another drink.

And would it have been too much to expect that CTV provide English translation for that terribly obscure language -- French?

I could go on. But I'll spare you.

Just two more things. Well, two and a half.

Joni wasn't available to sing her own song? Nobody could find a recording of her singing it?

And while I love k.d. laing and she did a terrific job, did anyone read the lyrics before choosing her number?

For that matter, did anyone read the lyrics to 'Both Sides Now'?

Here's my last question: What the FUCK?

For your perusal -- and that of the ijits who choose the music -- here are said lyrics.

'Hallelujah'

Now I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
It goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah

Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you
To a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Baby I have been here before
I know this room, I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you.
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

There was a time you let me know
What's really going on below
But now you never show it to me, do you?
And remember when I moved in you
The holy dove was moving too
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

You say I took the name in vain
I don't even know the name
But if I did, well really, what's it to you?
There's a blaze of light
In every word
It doesn't matter which you heard
The holy or the broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

I did my best, it wasn't much
I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch
I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you
And even though
It all went wrong
I'll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah

'Both Sides Now'

Bows and flows of angel hair and ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons everywhere, i've looked at cloud that way.
But now they only block the sun, they rain and snow on everyone.
So many things i would have done but clouds got in my way.

I've looked at clouds from both sides now,
From up and down, and still somehow
It's cloud illusions i recall.
I really don't know clouds at all.

Moons and junes and ferris wheels, the dizzy dancing way you feel
As every fairy tale comes real; i've looked at love that way.
But now it's just another show. you leave 'em laughing when you go
And if you care, don't let them know, don't give yourself away.

I've looked at love from both sides now,
From give and take, and still somehow
It's love's illusions i recall.
I really don't know love at all.

Tears and fears and feeling proud to say "i love you" right out loud,
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds, i've looked at life that way.
But now old friends are acting strange, they shake their heads, they say
I've changed.
Something's lost but something's gained in living every day.

I've looked at life from both sides now,
From win and lose, and still somehow
It's life's illusions i recall.
I really don't know life at all.

ADDED: Salon snerks. Fun.

MORE: Heather Mallick enlightens the Brits.

A sample:

For Canadians, the opening ceremonies in Vancouver on Friday were like watching your dad get drunk at a party. You love the guy, but my God, he isn't going to dance. In front of everyone. Look, he's taking off his jacket. As I live and die, what is he wearing? Awww, I love him. And so on.

More Ultrasounds = More Abortions (Revised)

I wonder how SUZY ('I'd have as many ultrasounds as I could') ALLCAPS is going to feel about this.

Since ultrasounds have been offered to every pregnant woman in the Netherlands at 20 weeks, late abortions have doubled.

The Dutch branch of Fetus Fetishists International, predictably, is SHRIEEEEEKING.

The Dutch orthodox Christian party ChristenUnie however, is now saying it wants to postpone the official ultrasound to week 24, the legal limit for abortion in the Netherlands. The government introduced the 20-week ultrasound for all women in 2007. If a major defect is found at that stage, parents have four weeks to decide whether they want their baby to be born.

(snip)

Esmé Wiegman, a member of parliament for the ChristenUnie, said Tuesday: "The life ofa person with disabilities is a valuable life. We should be able to count on a careful approach when the life of an unborn child with a disability is involved." She announced she wants to move the regular echo to week 24, when abortion is illegal, to turn the tide. If that proposal fails to get support, she to cap legal abortion at 18 weeks, before the defects become visible.

The orthodox Christian party has always opposed abortion, claiming only God should decide whether a baby is born or not. When it entered into a coalition with the Christian democrats, CDA, and Labour in 2006 however, it signed a government agreement that said the laws on abortion would not be changed.

But there's some good news too:

Another possible consequence is that doctors reported not a single euthanasia of a newborn in 2008. They are obligated to disclose if babies with a condition deemed "incompatible with life", such as certain very serious cases of spina bifida, are euthanised. Experts say fewer such babies are born now because their condition can be determined at the 20 week ultrasound.

Not a single euthanasia. Well, that's good, isn't it?

We'll give the last word to a sciency-facty type:

Gynaecologist Wildschut finds it odd that politicians act surprised about the higher number of abortions. "The whole idea of the 20 week ultrasound was to detect these defects," he said.

UPDATED: To remove fetal pr0n redirect by SUZY. But that's the intellectually crippled fetus fetishist reaction to sciency facty stuff. RUN!

What Would You Do to Unseat Stephen Harper?

Would you vote for a non-ReformaTory candidate?

Would you come out to a rally?

Would you write a cheque?

What will be the tipping point for Stevie Spiteful and his band of thugs?

Steve V at Far and Wide thinks it may be a turn by the National Post. We at DAMMIT JANET! hope it might be that travesty of the Canada Pavilion.

What would you do to help tip the damned useless opposition into forcing an election?

The people of C.R.U.S.H. (Canadians Rallying to Unseat Stephen Harper) need money to publish nationwide ads calling for an election.

The goal is $30,000 to $40,000.

My goal is to get one DJ! reader to write a cheque and mail it.

Mine is on the kitchen table, in an envelope, stamped and ready to go.

WE ARE NOW READY TO ACCEPT CHEQUES BY MAIL
PAYABLE TO: UNSEATHARPER.CA
ADDRESS: UNSEATHARPER.CA

BOX 1284

LAKEFIELD, ONTARIO

K0L 2H0
******************************************************
THIS IS YOUR CHANCE TO CONTRIBUTE BY MAIL
*****************************************...***************
PAYAPAL ANNOUNCEMENT TO COME LATER.
*******************************************************

Please.

How's That Mavericky-Roguey Thing Going for You, $arah?

Not so well, seemingly.

Sarah Palin has hit a low point in polling, The Washington Post reports in its latest survey, but the Post also brings some good news for the Tea Party movement as it heads into the 2010 elections: it's perhaps not as far outside mainstream opinion as it's made out to be.

Palin's favorability is at its lowest point since the 2008 campaign, according to the Post/ABC's numbers: 37% view her unfavorably, while 55% view her favorably (in November the Post put her at 43% favorable, 52% unfavorable), and only 26% of respondents said she was qualified to be president (a drop of 12 percentage points since November), vs. 71% who said she's not.

Looks like people weren't all that impressed with her Hillbilly Palm Pilot trick.



See the whole poll at Washington Post.

OOPS! JJ in the comments noticed an error in the quote. The author transposed some pretty important figures. It should be 55% unfavourable, 37% favourable.

No Family Planning, No Contraception, No Abortion = Maternal Health

When (un)R.E.A.L. Women speak, Motherhood Steve listens.

Jeff Jedras at A BCer in Toronto helpfully copies and pastes from behind the subscription wall at Embassy Magazine.

CIDA Minister Bev Oda says the government's child and maternal health strategy will not address unsafe abortions in developing countries or support access to family planning and contraceptives. Rather, she said that to ensure the aid agency remains effective, "it's the lives of mothers and babies that we are focused on."

But with nearly 15 per cent of all maternal deaths being attributed to such abortions, and up to 40 per cent of maternal deaths preventable with access to family planning and contraception, experts and critics say support for these areas is essential.

On Jan. 28, Prime Minister Stephen Harper told the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland, that rallying support for maternal and child health would be a major focus of Canada's G8 presidency. In developing countries, more than 500,000 women die each year in pregnancy and 9 million children die before the age of five.

(snip)

When asked about support for contraceptives and family planning in an interview last week, Ms. Oda said: "In order to maintain our focus, again our focus is on maternal and child health and mortality rates.

"We want to make sure that mothers, pregnant women, are healthy and can have safe births, and that the birthing process is made safer because if you look at the number of births during the actual birthing process, that's where a number of maternal deaths happen," she added.

"We also want to make sure when babies are born, they are born as healthy as possible so that they can live through their early age, up to the age of five, with as strong and good health as possible."

The fetus fetishists are crowing and claiming credit. They report further confirmation from ReformaTory Shelly Glover. (Go read if you want to read Glover repeat word for word what Oda said.)

When Canadian foreign policy was developed by grown-ups, it was considered a good idea to listen to experts and people on the ground.

Now, our foreign policy is dictated by Christofascists and misogynists.

I'm no kind of politico or wanna-be political advisor. But if the so-far pretty useless opposition parties don't RIDE THIS HORSEY HARD, they're total fucking idiots and I'm gonna think about emigrating.

BONUS TRACK: Go read Antonia. She's PISSED.

MORE BONUS: Go read Joyce Arthur. She's PISSED too. (And, if you're a blogger, her piece has a ton of juicy links.)

AND EVEN MORE: Oh. Look. A poll on whether maternal health includes access to safe abortion.