Language of the season.

One of canadian cynic's tweets directs our attention to this:

Suspicious Conservatives are vetting guests to their annual caucus Christmas party in Ottawa Wednesday night, ensuring there are no spies or interlopers in the crowd. Anyone, who is not a bona fide member of Stephen Harper’s team (lobbyists and journalists, for example) must be in a committed relationship with one in order to gain entry. [...]

The invitation is very clear about who is – and who is not – allowed to come and tip a glass of Christmas cheer: “If you choose to bring a guest,” it reads, “please ensure that he or she is a close personal acquaintance, unless he or she is your partner, is not a lobbyist, consultant, or journalist, or employed in a similar capacity, and is not there is [sic] any commercial capacity.”

Am I correct in reading that as permission for Contempt Party MPs, VIPs and hacks to bring along a lobbyist, consultant, or media person - but only if they're currently fucking them?

Any bets on whether Bruce Carson will show up with Krista Erickson?

On an amusing note: Erickson before and after her StunTV venom-for-hire makeover.

Xmas: The Aftermath

I am apparently difficult to buy gifts for.

No one has told me this. I infer it from the stoooopid gifts I get.

Like soap. Really. Soap as a present.

So, gift-quality soap MUST be really really really smelly.

Yuck.

But it seems also to be pretty hard-milled, i.e. long-lasting.

I figured something out that I will magnanimously share, this being The Season and all.

When/if you get smelly gift-soap, do not hold your nose and run for outdoors garbage container.

Open an end of the packaging, find some close-off-able space, and keep it.

Like, for three or four years.

Presto! Smell (mostly) gone, soap dried out, lasts even longer.

You're welcome.

The Most Subversive Song Ever

This must be shared.

Beijing York said in the comments here:

I don't know what these three comics cover in their routine but I would love to see a stand-up routine that skewers Christians for their misuse of Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah". I was listening to some Songs in Season concert on CBC and sure enough they had to sing it.

Anyway, this person does a good job of skewering this gross misunderstanding of what the song is about:

http://www.politicalgroove.com/archive/index.php?t-18984.html

I love this line:

And yet the song itself is never appropriate where it’s placed. It’s like putting a poster of Geurnica up in a nursery. Yes, beautiful, but utterly inappropriate. Hey kids! Look at the mutilated horsey head! Freaky, huh?

Here's the link made clickable.

The discussion thread's title is 'The Most Subversive Song Ever?'

I liked this bit.

Yet the song with its haunting melody and refrain like a stiffy at a funeral keeps popping up in all the most inappropriate spots (the exception being the movie “The Watchmen” in which it was actually shown during a sex scene. That’s the only version in any movie I’ve ever seen that used the original version by Leonard Cohen rather than a cover. I think the director was sending a message: we understand what it’s REALLY about.)

The commenter thinks Jeff Buckley does the best cover of it.

Me, I just loooooove k.d. laing's version of it, even though the opening ceremonies of the 2010 Winter Owe-lympics was another stunningly inappropriate venue for it.

My xmas gift to DJ! readers:

Merry Xmas

Attention Shoppers!

I really, really hate shopping, especially -- of course -- at this time of year.

But much as I really, really hate shopping, I've figured a few things out about it.

Like, before you're allowed to leave the store with your purchases, there's a little transaction to be done. Usually involving a wallet, cash or a card. Or two cards if you're an idiot who's agreed to be commercially stalked by corporations.

So WHY THE FUCK do I always get behind the cement-head who waits until the clerk is looking at her -- and it's usually a her -- expectantly to start rummaging around in purse?

Rummage, rummage, rummage.

Oh, there's the wallet.

Now, peruse, peruse, peruse, which card will I use?

Hand over card, transaction proceeds. Until clerk asks: 'Have you agreed to be commercially stalked by corporations?'

Oh. Yes. Peruse, peruse, peruse.

Second card gets handed over.

I vibrate with impatience. And regular readers here can imagine how hard I bite down on my tongue.

Attention shoppers! Please learn this lesson: Purchasing. Requires. Cash. And. Or. Card(s).

Always.

Think you can remember that?

Good.