And so the season changes, people start scrabbling around in closets and drawers to find something appropriate to wear.
Well, after my eviction and return -- two moves within nine months -- I developed a savage ruthlessness about stuff.
It appears that savagery and material aging have conspired to result in my whine to Sweetie: 'I hate all my clothes'. (Sweetie winced and backed slowly out of the room.)
Old fave shirts are too ratty -- even for me -- to wear. Mysterious stains in inconvenient places have appeared. And so on.
I gotta go shopping. (Look at opening line again.)
Time was, when I was younger and the world was saner, I'd grit teeth and venture into some store where I'd struck lucky before. Find something I could afford in the size that had worked before and -- deep breath -- hit the changing rooms.
Because if there's one retail experience worse than shopping, it is returning something.
It started in the 80s. There was a brand of workplace-acceptable pants that fit me well enough. I took a size 6. Went back sometime later and size 6 was enormous. Tried a 4. Still roomy but OK. Weird, I thought, I'm not shrinking. . .
Next time, went for the 4. Too big. Tried a 2. Fit OK. Moi: What's next? Zero?
Yup. Welcome to vanity sizing.
The theory is that as our shapes or weights change, women don't like to admit it, so designers accommodate our 'vanity' by making sizes larger.
It has been studied:
In one of Kinley’s studies, researchers measured 1,000 pairs of women’s pants and found as much as an 8½-inch variation in the size-4 waist.
Every woman knows this.
But now matters are more dire. I haven't bought clothes for so long, I have no idea where to start. Plus, my body has changed. I'm pretty sure I'm not a 2 anymore.
The S-M-L (and now XL and XXL) system used to work for casual clothes. I took S, but then the cuts got skimpy (you do not want to look at my belly) so I went up to M. And rolled the sleeves up about 5 turns.
Of course, you've cottoned on to what I'm doing here. There's a note in my agenda for Monday past. CLOTHES! Today is Friday and if I fuck around long enough with this blogpost and the innertoobz -- oh, gee, look at the time!
Or as Sweetie and I -- both freelancers -- put it: 'I'm in the procrastination stage of the project.'
And just now -- TELEPHONIC SERENDIPITY! Sweetie is in the nabe is and going to drop in for a cup of tea.
The comments are open for companionable bitching. Or suggestions.