Wednesday, 29 December 2010

Xmas: The Aftermath

I am apparently difficult to buy gifts for.

No one has told me this. I infer it from the stoooopid gifts I get.

Like soap. Really. Soap as a present.

So, gift-quality soap MUST be really really really smelly.

Yuck.

But it seems also to be pretty hard-milled, i.e. long-lasting.

I figured something out that I will magnanimously share, this being The Season and all.

When/if you get smelly gift-soap, do not hold your nose and run for outdoors garbage container.

Open an end of the packaging, find some close-off-able space, and keep it.

Like, for three or four years.

Presto! Smell (mostly) gone, soap dried out, lasts even longer.

You're welcome.

15 comments:

ck said...

Sounds like they made their own lye soap. How charming!

Kinda reminds me of the time someone I used to date bought me a swiffer mop for a Birthday gift. Needless to say, that relationship was very short lived.

Beijing York said...

Oh no, I bought locally hand-crafted soaps for many of my friends. I hope they don't feel that way.

Also, the scented ones can be used in cupboards and drawers to make everything smell better.

(I grew up admiring my mom's best friend's overuse of mothballs. It didn't take me long as an adult to realize that most people do not approve.)

fern hill said...

Beijing York: I'm sure you know your friends' taste.

Anybody who knows me knows I loathe stinky stuff. I have a friend who is allergic to perfume. She knows all the alternate routes into dept stores that avoid the perfume/stink gauntlet. I'm not allergic, but maybe I should start telling people I am.

stageleft said...

Is this a late Festivus airing of grievances?

Good!

... I hinted (many times) that I wanted shampoo - didn't get any.... why do people go though the bother of asking what you might like for xmas if they're gonna ignore what you tell them?

Shampoo is, IMO, a perfectly respectable gift for someone who has hair as long as mine.

What I did get was a new Fender amp, a distortion box, and a chorus pedal. Some 6 or 8 months ago the notion struck me that may perhaps I should learn to play a more folksy style of guitar fitting of kitchen parties and backyard bonfires in the country (for some reason Skid Row, Amon Amarth, Slayer, etc.... don't seem to work well in those situations) so I scoured the pawn shops until I found a reasonably priced acoustic and a Godin hollow body electric and started practicing ---- although I personally believe that it is impossible to butcher a Bob Dylan song beyond repair I fear the gifts are a hint that I should reconsider my plan.

fern hill said...

LOL, gifts as critique!

I doubt people put that much thought into such things. It probably goes no further than 'stageleft = musician, ergo, musical stuff'.

I think the soap results from 'fern hill = female person, ergo, something stinky'.

And, yeah, why do they ask? If you were on my list, I'd be delighted to drop into a drugstore (after sneaking a peak at what brand you use -- there is a bewildering and infuriating proliferation of such products) and pick up a bottle for you.

The best part of this time of year -- we don't have to do it again for nearly 12 whole months!

Happy non-Xmas season, everyone!

stageleft said...

Brand? I'm a guy.... my usual brand is "the biggest bottle with the lowest price" :-)

fern hill said...

That's my brand too, but don't tell anybody. ;-)

Beijing York said...

Airing of gift grievances - love that!

I swear I have one friend who is fixated on gifting me something/anything with a freaking cat: calendars, earrings, coffee mugs... Another one seems to think I need decorative bowls.

fern hill said...

Since I had to move twice in 9 months, I've developed a ruthlessness about Stuff. As in, I don't want any more fucking Stuff.

Nobody has ever tried decorative bowls on me, but that would definitely be the near the top of the Crap I Do Not Want/Need list.

Beijing York said...

You mean you would like that cat themed stuff?

fern hill said...

Beijing funny.

I got all the cat crap I need right here at the top of this page.

Pseudz said...

sheesh

fern hill said...

Pseudz, did you hit publish before you were ready?

Or is that the sum of your 'late Festivus airing of grievances'?

deBeauxOs said...

Cat crap? Cat CRAP?!?!?

Well, see if I care what kind of crap, catty or not, goes up on the next blogsite we collaborate on, Ms fern hill.

Meoooow!

;^)

fern hill said...

Crap? Did I type 'crap'? I meant, of course, cat bread. Bread.

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