Friday 13 November 2009

Blame Mandos.

Our friend Mandos - fellow blogger and Ottawan, though now residing elsewhere - appears to be quite excited about a recent development in Eggbert Umbert's narrative.
"BREAKING!!!! UMBERT REFERS TO SEX FOR FIRST TIME!!"

Yawn. Wake us up when Umbert's parental-units-in-waiting are doing the horizontal mambo, doggy-style, and the cartoon embryo is bouncing around the uterus like a pinball. Though that's unlikely to happen.

After all, this comic strip is a cash cow for its creator, Gary Cangemi. It appears in the National Catholic Register and it's syndicated to a large number of associated catholic organizations' newsletters.

Umbert©™ states that he's "the product of 100% natural family planning." The implication is that sexual relations between the two hopeful-to-be-parental-units was achieved for the purpose of procreation. Now that Umbert©™ is in residence, there's no justification for his human-rights-deprived vessel to engage in carnality, is there? As for the male parental-unit-in-waiting, in spite of catholic religious dogma currently in vogue, he's probably furtively getting his rocks off elsewhere.

3 comments:

Mandos said...

In fact, in the next cartoon, Umbert makes a request on a little telephone for "womb service", where he asks for a "peanut butter and pickle" sandwich. Immediately his Gestation Support Unit has a craving for a peanut buter and pickle sandwich.

The lesson? Obvious. Women are like hotel kitchens.

That's why I love Umbert. In the nonthreatening cartoon format, the actual mentality behind the dogma can be expressed sans the lovely poetic language they normally use.

deBeauxOs said...

eh. "Gestation Support Unit" - now there's a keeper.

Bina said...

"Umbert"? Is he the love-child of Lolita and Humbert Humbert? Inquiring minds would love to know...

(I guess calling him Freddie the Fetus was out of the question--too "anti-life", eh?)

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