Then they came for the trees ... (Updated)

The Integrated Security Unit is planning to clear-cut all trees (and presumably, MASSIVE shrubs too) from the RCMP-controlled zones during the G-20 in Toronto.

The trees could be ripped out of the ground by demonstrators “and then you’ve got a huge bar,” said Constable Wendy Drummond, a spokeswoman for the Integrated Security Unit. [...] Organizers would not say which trees or how many will be hauled away.

“If they’re removing any trees, it’s because they don’t want folks to jump over and launch things from above,” said local city councillor Adam Vaughan.

Mr. Calzavara says the thought that a sapling could be turned into a weapon is “outrageous.” “I would challenge the police to get a couple of burly officers and try to pull one of these trees out of the ground,” he said. “You’d need an axe to cut the thing down. And if you’ve already got an axe, you wouldn’t need a tree.”

Uh-oh. I predict that Mr Calzavara will be visited by the forces of public government order shortly and that all the sharp implements in his home will be confiscated. He might be even arrested for providing the terrists with instructions on weapons deployment.

The only sane response to this insanity is: "Pitchez la vache!"

Update from "No Stone Left Undisturbed" News.

More from Constable Drummond, spokesthingy for the Integrated Security Unit.

But it’s not all about keeping the trees from becoming projectiles, she said. “Trees in full bloom have obscure views and observation is key in a lot of our policing.”

Trees: gone. Next: rocks.

It beats super-gluing every stone to the ground. Summit security are having fences erected around Lake Shore Blvd. to enclose the piles of landscaping stones so the rocks can't be picked up during protests and used as projectiles -- you know, like a sapling can be.

We couldn't make up such idiocy. Tranna residents should thank Stevie and his New©™ Government for these experiential opportunities inspired by the surrealistic theatre of Beckett, Ionesco and Pinter.

Un grand merci to our reader and buddy k'in for the original headline and the source. She is a most appreciated contributor to this blog, in the comment section.