Don't get all testerical, Mr Police Chief.

The police chief of a small South Carolina town will ask a jury to decide if a woman broke the state's obscenity laws by driving a pickup truck with plastic testicles hanging from the back.

Bonneau Police Chief Franco Fuda ticketed Virginia Tice, 65, in early July at a local convenience store after spying the adornment dangling from her truck.

South Carolina law considers a bumper sticker, decal or device indecent when it describes, in an offensive way as determined by contemporary community standards, "sexual acts, excretory functions, or parts of the human body."

Right. So one would think that Bonneau cops hand those $447. tickets to every truck driver passing through town whose vehicle sports a version of the mudflap below, thus generating thousands of dollars in revenue for that hardscrabble burg.
That would be an incorrect assumption to make, however.

"This is certainly not a staple of my ticket writing in Bonneau," the police chief told Reuters on Wednesday.

From here.

Another cruel hoop

Back we go to whacky South Carolina for this story of yet another niggling
hoop for abortion-seeking women to hop through.

A bill that would increase the mandatory wait time between a mandatory ultrasound and the desired procedure from one hour to twenty-four hours is advancing again. It had been stalled for a year.

Critics have said requiring two trips creates a burden, especially for poor, rural women who may have to take two days off work. Three clinics in South Carolina provide abortions.

Ah, but the fetus fetishists have come up with a solution and it's a doozy.

The Senate approved a tweaked version on Wednesday that expands where those qualifying ultrasounds can occur to crisis pregnancy centers statewide. . . . Supporters of the Senate change said women can more easily access the anti-abortion, religiously affiliated centers.

Because I'm betting there are waaaay more than three fake pregnancy centres in SC.

So, let's imagine a woman in rural South Carolina. She's had the 'oh shit' moment, thinks about it, and decides to terminate. She makes an appointment at one of the state's three clinics and is told she has to have an ultrasound 24 hours in advance. Before she can get into full rant mode about how stupid this is, the trained counsellor on the phone informs her that she can go to her handy Christo-Taliban-run fake clinic for it. If the counsellor is really well-trained, she or he will whip out a prepared list of fake clinics and direct her to the nearest one.

And now we direct you to an older post about the training of fake pregnancy clinic manipulators/counsellors.

Our task in greeting new clients was to determine, on a scale from 1-10, how "abortion vulnerable" the woman is. That is, is she considering abortion, or did she come here because she's already chosen life and wants help with the new baby?

Easy-peasy with this new law. An angry woman stomping in demanding: 'Is this the goddamn place where I can get a goddamn ultrasound before I get a goddamn abortion?' is probably a 10 on that scale.

Let's consider what happens next:

If a woman was deemed not abortion vulnerable at all, they were often given nothing more than an opportunity to volunteer at the CPC itself, on top of whatever real job they actually had. They were paid in diapers, wet wipes, formula, some second-hand clothing. Nothing substantial. Certainly no prenatal care or anything like that. The abortion vulnerable women, however, they were offered the lot. High chairs, cribs, brand new clothing, even financial assistance for prenatal and pediatric care in rare cases!

Remember, this woman must must endure whatever the fetus fetishists fling at her in order to get the ultrasound she needs. Gory fetus pr0n, glurgey sermons, unending gord-talk. And, of course, all the usual lies about abortion causing breast cancer, insanity, and a permanent rift with Gord.

Loads of fun!!!! For the fetus fetishists.

For the unwillingly pregnant woman? Not so much.

I continue to marvel at the creative cruelty of fetus fetishists.

BONUS TRACK: In checking to make sure the story hadn't changed from when I copied the link this morning, I found another report. I think the writer is a little confused.

The legislation, according to CBS, would have stretched the the wait time between an ultrasound and an abortion from one hour to one day. However, a compromise in the Senate will allow women to have an abortion at any crisis pregnancy center in the South Carolina the day after receiving an ultrasound.

'We don't execute victims' - CORRECTED

By a narrow margin, legislators in South Carolina have decided NOT to ban abortion coverage under state insurance in cases of rape, incest, or threat to incubator's life.

The original draft of the $5.1 billion spending plan would have banned state insurance from covering any abortion procedure, but Democrats pushed for the change during an emotional floor debate. The measure narrowly passed by a 57-54 vote.

The emotional debate included an argument that all bay-beez are Gord's gift.

And this pretzelly-twister:

"We live in a civilized society," argued Rep. Greg Delleney, R-Chester. "We do not kill children for what their fathers do. We don't execute victims. That's all we're saying: The state insurance plan shouldn't pay to execute victims."

No, we just force them to carry their rapist's child to term. Or their father's.

Or both.

And maybe die in the attempt.

Wait. There seems to have been a compassionate voice in the house.

But it was Rep. Lester Branham, D-Florence and a retired minister, who seemed to sway lawmakers in his hushed tone during a trip to the podium.

"Some things are put on God's shoulders that are not God's. They're our sins, our crimes," Branham said. "That act of impregnating a girl against her will is not a gift of God. It's a crime."

(Read more about the squirrelly state of South Carolina as seen by deBeauxOs.)

CORRECTION: The source I quoted yesterday has issued a retraction. (emphasis mine)

Yesterday, TheState.com reported that South Carolina lawmakers in Columbia rejected a proposed ban on abortions in their health plan in every case except when a mother’s life is in danger. However, that information was incorrect and we apologize for repeating it.

According to numerous reports, South Carolina lawmakers accepted the ban for abortions to be covered in their health care plan. Lawmakers specifically pointed out that abortions should be covered in cases of rape and incest to give women who become pregnant in those situations the choice. However, the vote approved the plan without concessions for rape and incest victims by a 57-54 margin.

Sorry about that. Should have known better. There is NO compassion in South Carolina.

Guns'n No Roses

South Carolina is a mighty special US state. It holds a special place in the heart of many Canadians because of the beauty of the seashore and its beaches, but dang! it is one squirrely place when guns or sex are mixed in with its politics.

For many candidates the road to public office means fundraisers, shaking hands, kissing babies, and firing machine guns? Well, firing machine guns may not be that common on the campaign trail but a man running for South Carolina’s Adjutant General decided to use machine gun fire to get votes.

“You know most political candidates, republican side in particular, they want to get out to the country club and stand around with a glass of wine in their hand,“ said candidate Dean Allen. He held a “machine gun social” at Allen Arms Indoor Range in Greenville.

For 25 dollars, donor to his campaign got barbecue and a chance to fire a machine gun of their choice. “Well I wanted a place where we could have some fun,“ said Allen.

Allen chose the venue because it relects his emphasis on Second Amendment rights. The Adjutant General is responsible for overseeing South Carolina’s defense forces. Allen says that, if elected, he would try to increase funding for the National Guard. He also advocated bringing the National Guard home from Afghanistan to help control illegal immigration.

“The plan on paper says the national guard will reinforce law enforcement,“ said Allen. “Well if the National Guard is in Afghanistan it can’t do that.“ Allen is countin (sic) on his pro gun-ownership stance to help him win votes.

Did we mention that Allen shindig also included a raffle to win a Kalashnikov? The assault weapon was in the news recently because the Russian weapons manufacturing company is facing bankruptcy; the revenue-deprived army has stopped placing orders and cheap AK-47 knock-offs manufactured in China and Eastern Europe are flooding the arms market.

We wonder if the Kalashnikov that Allen raffled off is the real thing.

Goin' ... goin' ... soon to be gone?

South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford - many recent news items invariably use the qualifier "embattled". This is why. Thanks to Sanford, hiking the Appalachian Trail has become a political euphemism for the illicit shenanigans of yet another adulterous, hypocrite, Fundie Christian Family Values ©™ Republican.

Now his travel history is under scrutiny, as many former supporters from his own party try to push him out of the statehouse.

Sanford, the embattled Republican governor who last week rejected calls for his resignation from the state GOP and 61 of the 72 House members from his own party, faces an ethics investigation of his travel habits. A growing number of legislators are discussing the prospect of impeachment.

The governor's travel became the focus of attention after he returned from a mysterious absence in June to announce an affair with an Argentine woman he later called his soul mate. The married father of four sons said he began the adulterous relationship while on a state trip to South America in 2008. ...

Throughout his political career, Sanford has cast himself as a frugal conservative, known to demand that state employees use both sides of Post-It notes. His 2002 gubernatorial campaign included attacks against other state officials for what he called wasteful travel expenses.

Both sides? How does that work, since only one side has the sticky glue strip? How does Sanford feel about the single-use wastefulness of toilet paper?

Mark Sanford: re-defining tacky AND sticky.

Gone fishin'

Nice work if you can get it ... and you can evade work responsibility if your name is Mark Sanford and you're the governor of South Carolina.

In Canada - and I presume that applies in other countries as well - if you hold a job that involves important responsibilities, you don't spontaneously go incommunicado & AWOL, while not even ensuring that a colleague has assumed your key legal tasks. But an elected official in the US? Not so much, it appears.

The whereabouts of Gov. Mark Sanford was unknown for nearly four days, and some state leaders question who was in charge of the executive office. ...

Neither the governor’s office nor the State Law Enforcement Division, which provides security for governors, had been able to reach Sanford after he left the mansion Thursday in a black SLED Suburban SUV, said Sen. Jake Knotts and three others familiar with the situation but declined to be identified. ...

First lady Jenny Sanford told The Associated Press earlier Monday her husband has been gone for several days and she did not know where. She said she was not concerned. ... Jenny Sanford said the governor said he needed time away from their children to write something.

The governor’s office issued a statement Monday afternoon: "Gov. Sanford is taking some time away from the office this week to recharge after the stimulus battle and the legislative session, and to work on a couple of projects that have fallen by the wayside. We are not going to discuss the specifics of his travel arrangements or his security arrangements."

Thank gawd Sanford is a pale-skinned, English-speaking Republican otherwise US religious fundamentalist rightwingnutters in the state of South Carolina would have worked themselves into a state of shrieeeking frenzy by now.

Update: At Truth, Justice and Tacos, the blogger makes a good point about Sanford taking off for a hike on Fathers' Day and leaving his wife and four sons wondering WTF? Fundie Christian Family Values ©™ anyone?

One final note: Sanford has been acting squirrely for some time now. ... All of this should be deeply troubling to the people of South Carolina. Clearly, something is up with Sanford. Whether it's some kind of weird mental breakdown, or something as pedestrian as an affair, I have no idea. But should Sanford ever come down off the trail, I imagine he's going to have to do a loooooot of PR spinning.

Un grand merci to Canadian Cynic for alerting us to "Building the New Majority Conferenece" (sic).

Dead Fetus Monument

From a blogger named Greg Hambrick in South Carolina, more dead fetus fun.

Thirty-three state House members, including four local legislators, have put their support behind a proposed statehouse monument that would memorialize “South Carolina children whose lives ended before their birth.”

Reps. Wendell Gilliard (D-Charleston), Jim Merrill (R-Daniel Island), Tim Scott (R-North Charleston), and Mike Sottile (R-Isle of Palms) are co-sponsors of the bill. The monument would be paid for through private donations (the bill stresses that donors would not have to be revealed in public financial disclosures), and the state would be expected to pay for the maintenance of the monument.

You know, you'd think legislators would have better things to do.

I snaffled the photo from the site. Mr. Hambrick explains:

The picture at the top is a monument in a Penn. cemetery. The Kansas Supreme Court ruled against a monument to the unborn dead, again at a cemetery, over a law against using gravesites as an ad board for political reasons.

My goodness, sense from Kansas, of all places. Will sense prevail in South Carolina? Stay tuned.