Homophobia is alive and festering in the US.

When is a kiss not just a kiss?

The photo above and an article about US armed forces personnel was greeted with the predictable nasty and murderous reactions from zealot christianists and vile bigots.

Tut, tut. What would Jesus do?

He might say something along the lines of this letter from the managing editor of The Seattle Times.

Dear XXX

I’m sorry that you found the photo on today’s front page offensive. That was not our intention. We selected the photo because it depicted an historic moment for the U.S. military, vividly illustrating the end of the “don’t ask, don’t tell” era in a striking twist on the Navy’s “first kiss” tradition.

As you know, treatment of gay and lesbian members of the U.S. military has been hotly debated for years, including at military installations around the Puget Sound region. As politicians and military leaders argued, the effect on individual soldiers and sailors sometimes got lost. This photo, which both our picture and news editors described as iconic, showed what the policy change meant at street level.

Part of our responsibility as a news organization is to reflect the reality around us, even if it might make some readers uncomfortable. We do not make those decisions lightly. We debated how and where to use this picture extensively. In the end, we felt the historic nature of the photo merited front page treatment.

While you may not agree with this decision, I hope this explanation helps you understand it. We were not trying to push a political agenda. We were trying to show the real-world effect of a political change of policy.

I hope you will reconsider your decision to cancel the paper. Just as we value lively debates in our newsroom about how to display news, we value lively debates with our readers about whether they think we’re doing a good job. We need readers like you who care enough to call us to account when you don’t think we’re doing our jobs well. It keeps us on our toes and helps inform the choices we make going forward.

Sincerely,
Kathy Best
Managing Editor, The Seattle Times

It Gets Better: The Music Video

Hang around after the music for the statement at the end.

h/t AntoniaZ

There ain't no "cure" for gynophobia.

Enormous Thriving Plants caught Tucker Carlson's support for the patriarchal traditionally sanctioned "cure" for lesbianism which, throughout history and throughout a range of social, cultural, religious and ethnic environments is rape.

It takes a particularly twisted misogynist prick like Carlson, however, to justify and rationalize in this way the shocking stats about sexual assaults that female soldiers in the US military have suffered from their male colleague's sexual fury.

Under-reported, unchallenged and unpunished violence.

In the absence of a "cure" for men who hate women, fantasy fills the void. The existence of Lisbeth Salander, albeit as a fictional character and a gynophobe's nightmare is neither a remedy nor a solution, though collective imagination is a powerful instrument for change.

We need more Lisbeth Salanders, to counter the likes of Tucker Carlson, Russell Williams and Pope Maledict.

No Wonder Gays Want to Marry

The issue of equal marriage and I first met in the early 80s. I had a brief but mad crush on a guy in one of my classes who, natch, turned out to be gay. We became best friends though and still are.

Soon after he outed himself to me, he outed himself to the world and got involved in gay activism.

Early 80s. 'Gay plague'. They didn't even know what it was yet.

Several of my pal's friends and acquaintances got sick. And died.

And some died alone. Or surrounded by family members they hadn't spoken to in decades. Some had end-of-life and funeral arrangements made by loathed and loathing relatives.

Because, you see, when you are very sick, hospitals will allow only 'family members' in to see you. And a partner, no matter of how long standing, is not technically 'family' unless you've got that piece of paper saying your union has been sanctioned by the state.

And since then -- as now -- there are vicious homophobes in all walks of life, some sick people and their partners were subjected to smirking cruelty by hospital staff who took this delightful opportunity to bash a gay one more time and exclude his partner from his death bed.

Further cruelties were on offer in all subsequent legalities: funerals, wills, child custody, adoption. (Though not many of my pal's young friends had children.)

So, when my sweetie got bad heart news a few years ago, then more bad heart news a little later, all this came back to me.

We weren't married. And we didn't live together, so did not technically qualify as common-law partners.

Medicine has changed a lot since the 80s. It's much less formal now. When I go with sweetie to an appointment, I'm waved into the consultation room too as a matter of course. They assume we're partners or don't care.

But still, we had no legal connection to each other. So we started talking about getting hitched. In 2006, telling nobody beforehand except for the two friends we brought as witnesses, we slunk off to City Hall and did the deed. (Man, was his mother pissed! But then, she was the main reason we eloped, so she couldn't make a big damn deal out of a wedding.)

In my research into the pro's and con's of marriage, I had run into some details to do with money, taxes, pensions, and whatnot. None of this interested or affected either of us much. It seemed that the only change was that now we have to put the other's first name, SIN, and net (?) income on our tax returns.

I do my own taxes, but sweetie uses an accountant. A couple of times, the accountant has transferred to me charitable donations sweetie made and I've saved a few bucks, which of course I use to take us out to dinner.

Sweetie just phoned. He's at the accountant's who has had a fast look at the paperwork. Sweetie had a bad year financially last year. Me, about the same as usual.

Upshot: I get to claim him as some kind of dependent and get a WHACK of dough back.

Marriage -- Come for the sickness and death privileges. Stay for the financial benefits.