SUZYALLCAPSLOCKS Gets It!

Zow!

And do feminists care that babies blobs of tissue die? No. So long as female autonomy is upheld, that's all that matters. It's the only thing that matters. The baby's blob of tissue's life is of lesser value.

Exactamundo, SUZY. Now you're cooking with gas!

Autonomy -- aka women's rights -- is the only thing that matters.

(No link because she'll redirect to fetal pr0N.)

Ikebana Basics for Fetus Fetishists

The last time we heard from the zygote zealots’ mouthpiece FETANNE Forceps, she was defending a law that would bestow legal status upon a pregnant woman’s placenta. Since then, she has become the uxorious and crafty ‘Martha Stewart’ of the anti-choice movement as well as a self-proclaimed expert on what men need from women, or according to HER gospel, why feminists don’t get men.

Next week she will be launching an exciting new concept: Embryonic Ikebana. Let’s eavesdrop on her presentation for the Christian Womb Shopping Channel.

Welcome to Fetanne Forceps’ Christian Womb Hour. Today I will share with you some beautiful thoughts on the god-blessed role of mother and wife. Whenever people visit my home, they tell my husband what a beautiful environment I have made for my family. I want to show you how you can do the same. As many of you know, I have been a tigress when defending those poor innocent victims of abortion, the preborn human children. But I’m not alone in thinking that the visual documentation that we use is really tacky and not beautiful. And optics are very important, if you want the mainstream media to roll tape.

Our movement has successfully isolated the embryo and the fetus from their connection to pregnant women. But what we have overlooked is that there’s a reason why God puts them inside wombs - in the cruel light of day, they don’t look very nice, do they? And some very devout men have told me that it makes them feel very icky to look at these pictures: as one of them quaintly put it: ‘It reminds me of what happens down there to women when they’re not in the family way.’

And ladies, though I hesitate to say this, some of you have been acting all uppity and screechy about the rights of the unborn. We have to be careful to remain soft and sweet otherwise we’ll be no better than those noisy and strident feminazis. And we don’t want that - do we? So I put my pretty little thinking cap on, and decided to combine my gracious hostess skills with my faith and voilà! I have developed a whole line of products that will beautify the fetus and make it so much more attractive for photo opportunities.

This is my very own Fetal and Floral™arrangement. It has a simple, clean shape. It is dramatic yet romantic, perfect for the entrance to your home, or the reception area of a major television network.

I let myself be inspired by my love for all those unloved fetus in the world to create flower arrangements in a style that is whimsical yet poignant. Tall flowers shout your intentions, but low bunches of flowers whisper a more intimate message at the dinner table. I put out blossoms in a row of small glasses, clustering them in every possible shade of baby pink.

Almost any flower will work if you cut the stems short enough for the blooms to form a dense but luxurious mound just above the rim of the glass. I use about ten flowers for each little bouquet and then I take a tiny plastic fetus and gently place it in the petals so that it looks like it’s sleeping in a floral cradle.

The cottage-garden-inspired arrangement shown at the top is a casual bouquet of fresh-from-my-garden blooms. I picked flowers of different shape, size, and color, mixing pinks, scarlet, white, and chartreuse with some well-proportioned twigs. I arranged these flowers with different heights and carefully placed the large plastic yet life-like embryo in a central position. I call it EmbryonIkebana™ .

Goodness! That’s all the time we have today. These breath-taking Fetal and Floral™ arrangements can be ordered over the phone. Simply call 1-888-FETANNE. Operators are ready to take your order and make sure you have your husband’s permission to use his credit card.

Originally posted at Birth Pangs.

Virgin Eggs Over Easy, Hold The Sperm

Scientists say they have created embryonic stem cells by stimulating unfertilized ova. This could be the first step toward producing transplant tissue that’s genetically matched to the women who donated the eggs. The current debate around the use of stem cells from viable embryo has become legally, ethically and politically contentious.

Stem cell research could spare the lives of people suffering from ghastly degenerative and progressive diseases. Experiments would be conducted on human ova cells that have been started on their replication process, although lacking DNA and chromosomes from sperm. The mass of replicating embryonic cells is not the product of conventional or artificial conception, yet the Rev. Tad Pacholczyk of the National Catholic Bioethics Center in Philadelphia says:

“My view is that if these grow as organized embryos for the first few days and then arrest, they may just be very short-lived human beings,” he said. “One is very possibly dealing with a defective human being. And at a minimum, the benefit of the doubt should be given here, and these embryos should not be created for the purposes of destroying them.”

Doesn’t the above sound like a knee-jerk reaction, scientifically ill-informed at best, theocratic and doctrinaire at worst? “Very short-lived human beings“? What part of ‘no sperm used’ did he miss in the original research paper? His reasoning does not even follow the fallacious premise that the fetus-fetishizers promote in their abortion-criminalizing campaigns. Or perhaps his objection has more to do with the religious imperative that needs to control women’s reproductive organs and ensure that they are exclusively used for breeding?

But on another level, the Church Fathers may simply be cheesed off at the multitudes of life-creating and life-saving possibilities that ova promise. Especially since theological constraints ensure that clerics, from the Pope on down, must only shoot duds.

Source

Originally posted at Birth Pangs

I am Joe’s fetus.

Unprepossessing but potent, this small blob of tissue has been entrusted to Joe in the hope that he can grow it.
Joe lives in a world that has no female humans left in it. It’s the year 2222. There are no women because the hormones in Monsanto’s genetically-engineered-synthetic chicken breasts wiped out the whole gender.
So the men have decided that they must now bear children and Joe volunteered to carry me - one of thousands of embryos frozen during the In Vitro Fertilization craze - in a Monsanto-designed artificial uterus that’s been attached inside his abdomen.

Joe was selected because he is a healthy 25 year old man. As a soldier, he volunteered for the job because he has been promised that this duty will help advance his career in the military.Joe is the first man to carry out this experiment. I am being constantly monitored while Joe goes about his regular job, which has been considerably lightened to accommodate the important project that he bears.

The artificial uterus, in addition to all the normal features that would be found in the womb of a four-month pregnant woman, has links to the outside world through various electronic leads that allow the scientists to watch every step of my development inside Joe’s body. As well, needles are often carefully inserted by the Monsanto biomedical engineers into the walls of their patented FetusCarrier™ to ensure that the levels of their synthetic hormones are maintained.

The fuss that surrounds Joe and his FetusCarrier™ continues like this, day and night. When I first started moving around inside Joe, I could sense how nervous that made him. But his doctor and the scientists quickly reassured and congratulated him about his role in hosting my growth. It’s not very comfortable for me when they make Joe stretch out on a gurney while they prod and poke at him. I much prefer when he’s walking briskly, bouncing me around inside the squishy artificial amniotic fluid.

But I suffer through the examinations the scientists and engineers conduct of their FetusCarrier™, scrutinizing every aspect of its functions captured by all the electronic devices that were inserted into it, at the same time that they stuck me here. Sometimes I wonder if my continued existence is only an adjunct to the important scientific work that they’re doing in testing out the efficacy of their new product.

Originally posted at Birth Pangs.