Feta Rights Denounced by Miss Emily Litella

This evening, we have invited our popular guest commentator, Miss Emily Litella to share her concerns regarding Fetal Rights.

“What is all this fuss I hear on television about Feta Rights? It’s disgraceful! Why should Feta have more rights than American cheddar? And, in the first place, who started the idea of giving special rights to cheese? Maybe if we were all dairy or goat farmers living in France making one of those 753 French cheeses we would want special rights but the United States was not even invited to be part of the I.O.U.!!

Besides, feta is not even a French cheese, it’s Greek!

Not that there’s anything wrong with the Greek people. A country that lets women have their very own little Lebanese island where they can all live and not have to ask permission for their rights can’t be all that bad. But I digress. Feta rights are stupid! And those great big signs that the Feta Rights people wave around on television with pictures of gigantic Feta cheese curds – well you’d never see me eating one of those with my Greek salad! Yuck!

This is one more example of a special interest group – and I’m talking here of those Feta makers – going to Washington DC to lobby for special rights. I’m telling you, I’m sick of it! Where will it all end? Will the government be giving Velveeta its own special status next? How about Cheez Whiz which is just runny Velveeta in a jar?

I say that we tell those Feta Rights people to go home and make their flaky spinachgoatPitas and stop annoying the heck out of the rest of us who never eat that kind of cheese anyhow.

And another thing … you can’t slice Feta and put it on American apple pie!!!

What!? What!? It’s not Feta Rights?!? Oh ... never mind then.”

In loving remembrance of Gilda Radner (1946 – 1989), who created Emily Litella.

Originally posted at Birth Pangs