Woody's Last Wank

Stephen Woodworth has blown his last wad.

He needed unanimous consent in Parliament today to move his "worth and dignity", aka "Women Are Mere Vessels for the Worth and Dignity of Blobs of Tissue" gambit forward.

He did not get it.

Stephen Woodworth, Member of Parliament for Kitchener Centre, today asked Members of Parliament to unanimously agree that every Canadian law must be interpreted in a manner which recognizes the equal worth and dignity of everyone who is in fact a human being. Woodworth asked the House of Commons, “Who here wants to deny the equal worth and dignity of any fellow human being?”

During routine procedures at 10:00 AM Eastern time, some Members of Parliament voted “nay” when MP Woodworth asked for unanimous consent.

And that's it.

We at DAMMIT JANET! have been following this wingnut for months (years?) now and now declare his much extended 15 minutes of fame over.

We're done with him.

As, we sincerely hope, will be the good people of Kitchener Centre in the next election.

Woodworth: The Coming Zombie Puppet Apocalypse!

I'm confused. Is Woody threatening a zombie apocalypse or a Muppet movie remake?

So reluctant is he to mention the A word that he is driven to moronic allegories and now puppets (?).

Really the man makes no sense. (bold added)

Under Parliamentary rules Woodworth cannot, without unanimous consent, bring this Motion to a vote so he will seek the unanimous consent of Members of Parliament. During Woodworth’s Member’s Statement on Monday, March 31, 2014 he noted that “If even one Member of this House refuses to consent to this essential principle of democratic governance it will be a dark and dangerous day for Canada.

”

Woodworth said: “Laws like subsection 223(1), which falsely condemn as non-human those we know to be human, are savage and inhumane, a throwback to a more barbarous age.” Any Member opposing Motion 476 is denying the equal worth and dignity of every member of the human family affirmed in the U.N. Universal Declaration of Human Rights. He went on to say that in addition, "Similarly, if anyone opposes Motion 476a, they clearly haven't seen the latest Muppet Movie and are simply out of touch with their Child side...and probably reality as well."

Woodworth posing with his hand puppets "Les" and "Bess" in a press conference says " I would like this Motion to include hand puppets as well because they are so human-like at times to me, and have become almost equals when it comes to hammering home some of my best ideas in parliament. It'll be a sad day for puppets if this Motion goes down in flames.

Woodworth says Motion 476a (which will include puppets) will underline the reason why it is important for Canadians to refuse to accept any law which condemns as non-human anyone we know to be human or suspect to have human-like qualities...for instance--puppets!

Miss Piggy, whom is often viewed as more human than some people and certainly more than some politicians, could not be reached for comment.

Well, as for puppets being people too, Woody, as a backbench Conservative MP, should know.

More on the Canadian Sexual Two-Step

First, the step back:

DJ! fave (^NOT) Stephen Woodworth is at it again.

Meanwhile, Conservative MP Stephen Woodworth hits the stage at the National Press Theatre for "an important announcement" on his backbench bid to have the Commons "affirm that every Canadian law must be interpreted in a manner that recognizes in law the equal worth and dignity of everyone who is in fact a human being" -- which is, of course, a not terribly veiled attempt to restart the 'conversation' that he had hoped to trigger with his original, more obviously abortion-targeted motion in 2012.

As he has already used up his slot on the private members' priority list, Woodworth will almost certainly not get the opportunity to see his motion go to the House floor under his name, but he may have successfully persuaded a colleague to carry on the campaign.

That was from National Treasure Kady O'Malley, who when asked which MPs might give up his or her spot for this quixotic ploy, responded with this link and the additional information that the first 15 names have priority.

Those names are:

122. Chong, Michael
123. Brosseau, Ruth Ellen
124. Ayala, Paulina
125. Mayes, Colin
126. Chisu, Corneliu
127. Péclet, Ève
128. Hoback, Randy
129. Leef, Ryan
130. Hayes, Bryan
131. Van Kesteren, Dave
132. Choquette, François
133. Valeriote, Frank
134. Patry, Claude
135. Stanton, Bruce
136. Morin, Isabelle

From Abortion Rights Coalition of Canada's list of anti-choice MPs, there are three possibles: Mayes, Hoback, and Van Kesteren.

We live and see.

From the step-forward file: New Brunswick students call for an end to the shameful and illegal refusal of NB to fund abortions.

A group of students at St. Thomas University has launched an online petition asking the New Brunswick government to fund abortions at a private clinic.

The aspiring social workers say they know women who have had difficulty accessing abortions and they want the province to fund abortions at Fredericton’s private Morgentaler Clinic.

Here's their petition, now with more than 3,000 signatures.

Support the students' efforts and women's rights in New Brunswick.

UPDATE to Woodworth bit: Kady reports that she missed the beginning of his presser, but noted that he seemed to be giving the speech he always gives.

OKAY! Finally! News! Oh, for heaven's sake: Woodworth is going to stand up and ask for unanimous consent for his motion. #Hw

— kady o'malley (@kady) April 8, 2014

If every MP who was going to make a doomed attempt to seek unanimous consent held a press conference, we'd never get anything else done. #hw

— kady o'malley (@kady) April 8, 2014

Woodworth claims it will be 'a dark and dangerous day for Canada' if even one MP says nay. #hw

— kady o'malley (@kady) April 8, 2014

I thought he'd persuaded one of his colleagues to put it forward in the next batch of private members' biz. That would have been news! #hw

— kady o'malley (@kady) April 8, 2014

Upshot: Same old bullshit.

Woody's Wank Redux

To no-one's surprise, attention-whore Stephen Woodworth is back with another non-abortion abortion gambit.

Conservative MP Stephen Woodworth is out with another motion that could re-ignite the abortion debate in Ottawa, although he says it's merely about respect for human dignity in law.

Yaaaa. Just like Woody's Wank I was *not* about abortion either.

So why are all the usual suspects applauding the move then?

Here's LifeShite:

Tuesday’s media advisory was titled ‘Motion 312 – Next Steps’, suggesting Woodworth intends to piggyback on his previous efforts.

Great idea, Woody. Because M312 was such a resounding success. NOT.

Little problem, though. Woody is not on the list for private members' bills and motions.

But fellow fetus fetishists Liberal John McKay and Conservative Brad Trost are. Might they give up their chance to push their hobby horses for another kick at the abortion can?

I doubt it. But hey, anything to distract from current scandals, eh?

We at DAMMIT JANET! are ready to gear up again if we have to, so go ahead, Woody, bring it.

In particular, we are breathlessly awaiting Part D'uh of his genius ballooning 'allegory'. We wondered at the time why he titled it 'Part I'. Now we know and are holding our sides in anticipation of the sequel.

(No. I haven't been abducted by aliens. Just very very busy.)

Quick Way to Tell Your MP How to Vote on M312

For people not on Twitter, leadsnow.ca has an automated email to PMSHithead and your MP on Woody's Wank.

It's gratifying to see so many different people on the #M312 hashtag making the announcement 'Stop the covert attempt to criminalize abortion' and the link to leadnow.

The fetus fetishists infesting that hashtag have numbered about five, twit-spamming the same message over and over: 'I love #M312. Please vote for it' aimed at today's short list of MPs. Amusingly, the NDP Communications Twitter account is almost always included.

So, if you haven't yet emailed your MP, this is a really quick way to do it.

Synchronicity, Baby!

Some weird synchronicity is going to occur on September 26, 2012.

The vote to kill Woody's Wank, aka M312, aka the Motion to Create a Sub-Class of Canadians Formerly Known as Pregnant Women, will be held. At 5:00 p.m., we're told.

By the power of whatever body that declares such things, it is also designated World Contraception Day, or as we sluts call it, World Sex Without Squalling Consequences Day.

And, in consolation perhaps for their Crushing Defeat on M312, fetus fetishists will begin their bi-annual Persecution and Prayer Fest, 40 Days of Harassment.

Sounds to me like a good day for a party.