Tuesday 20 March 2012

^NOT the sharpest knife in the drawer.

As fern hill demonstrated in the previous blogpost, the dumbassitude bar has been set low, when CPC MPs claim they're the smartest guy in the room.

MP Woodworth has been working on this Motion 312 - his anti-science project for awhile now.

Choice Joyce at Abortions Rights of Canada has exhibit XY:
Attention supporters! We need to help out Stephen Woodworth because the poor guy lacks imagination. He couldn't even think of a title for his motion! Let's help him out by naming his motion for him. Please email your clever, funny, or subversive titles to info@arcc-cdac.ca. We'll pick the best one and go public with it!

Joyce ArthurExecutive DirectorAbortion Rights Coalition of Canada (ARCC) joycearthur@shaw.cawww.arcc-cdac.ca

This contest has spilled onto Twitter, of course. Check out some of these #M312 gems:

"Women Aren't Persons Unless Childbearing Act"

"Motion to Regress and Oppress"

"Kanada's Kinder, Küche, Kirche Act"

"Hidden Abortion Agenda Motion" or HAAM

"The Handmaid's Tale' Motion."

"The *Catholic Sharia* Pregnancy Control Act"

"The Coathanger of White Male Prominence act"

The "Everything I Know About Being Pregnant I Learned From Watching TLC" Motion
So far, the usual zygote zealots and womb zombies have been unusually quiet. They probably learned their lesson from the last or perhaps before-last time they counted their preborns before they were hatched.

Bill C484 will be forever known as "Kicking Abortion's Ass" because John "Sperm Holocaust" Pacheco unfortunately crowed about it passing 1st reading in the House.


Beijing York said...

The dodging a speeding sperm is futile act.

Alison said...

Love #3 - it's a very apt description of much of what the Cons are up to.

fern hill said...

The 'Oh Shit, Not This Again' Motion.

fern hill said...

The 'Women Can't Be Trusted' motion.

fern hill said...

From Twitter, Billy Nobels has a couple of goodies: 'Dicks Rule Vaginas Act' and 'The Vagina Intrusion Act'.

fern hill said...

Another from Twitter The Long Arm of My Schlong Act.

fern hill said...

The 'Pathetic Backbencher Stomps His Little Feet' motion.

fern hill said...

The Women Are Public Incubators motion. Go look at that illustration. Wow.

fern hill said...

Another from Twitter, 'The Vagina Registry'.

CONmen love the word 'womb'. Maybe 'The Womb Registry'

Anonymous said...

Uterrorist Act
A Womb With a View Act
Womb Mates Act
Public Wombs Board Act
The XXLandlordXX Tenant Act
No Womb for Wimin’s Rights Act
Make Womb for ME! Act
No Womb of My Own Act
Free Womb and Board Act
- 900ft j

choice joyce said...

Thanks everyone, lol! I'm collecting all suggested names to put to some good use. Maybe publish them as a list, or even switch them up frequently in our 'official' communications on the motion, if that wouldn't be too confusing to everybody.

Or does anyone have any bright ideas of how best to use them? We have 44 names so far and counting...

Beijing York said...

So much imagination. Hahahaha!

Mitochondrial Protection Act

Vagina Welfare and Womb Protection Act

Family Planning and Ejaculation Authority Act

Niles said...

"Theocrats Rule Women Drool" Motion
"Wombless Humans are Human" Motion
"A Womban isn't Human" Motion
"Socon's Dicked-Up Bowel" Motion
"Legitimating the Loco" Motion
"Wombless Woodworth Woos Willy Worshipping Whackos" Motion
"Parochial Patriarchal Priesthoods for Pregnancy as Public Punishment" Motion
"Womb Wedgie" Motion
"My Wood is Worth more than your Womb" Motion
"Traumatized by the Vagina Monologues" Motion
"Mansplaining Motherhood, Murder and Male Magisterium" Motion

fern hill said...

Dr Dawg on Twitter: The "Woody's Not Worth It" Act.

Luna said...

Nicolae Ceausescu Memorial Act

Anonymous said...

Pure gold. Now somebody just has to sneak that change in. Who thinks the cons read the titles of their legislation any more than they read the content?

Dawn said...

The "Make Womb for Daddy" act.

deBeauxOs said...

The range of suggestions is simply blowing me away.

I have this vision of a crowd of prochoice Canadians: young and old, women and men, proudly wearing Tshirts in a multitude of colours, and with the words of wisdom above spilling out across them.

We are hilarious, clever and progressive people, are we not?

Laura said...

"I fertilized your egg so I know what pregnancy is"
"Sunnyside up or Overbearing"
"To womb or not to womb...that is the fetal decision"

Niles said...

Clever, progressive *humans*, Ms DeBee. 'People' might be overstating it. Especially the half of the population that might end up not being legal 'persons' if women-restricting crap starts coming down the pike.

After all, if women can't be trusted to make decisions about their own bodies and need moral men to protect them from horrific collapses of civilization founded on their uteri, they can't be trusted with the vote, since they'd just waste it dissenting from laws meant to save them.

Laura said...

"Who needs critical thinking skills when a Man can do it for me"
"Womb needs rights anyway?"
"Womb dunnit Act"
"I cannot get a woman so I will get a womb instead"
"Wombs for Woodworth" - Some people collect cars, Woodsworth collects uterus's

JJ said...

The "Men Who Stare At Zygotes" Act

(with thanks to R.Maddow)

Anonymous said...

Fetal Attraction Act
-900ft jesus

fern hill said...

Ooh. So succinct, so mocking, so true.

fern hill said...

Or, we could cut to the chase and call it 'Woodworth's Wank'.

fern hill said...

From Twitter: @GadflyQuebec

JJ said...

We have a winnah

fern hill said...

Well, it might work for us dirty-talking bloggers, JJ, but I doubt some of our allies (some of whom have to deal with editors and publishers) will jump on board this one.

Beijing York said...

What a great thread. I wish I had mad photo-chopping skills. I would love to use the ToysRus typeface/logo for: UteRus. (Little heart shaped womb in the "R")

choice joyce said...

I've published all your "Wacky and Wonderful Titles for Motion 312" plus others we've gotten. 78 so far, but I've probably missed some.


They are a joy to read.
Thanks everyone! Now we also need some en français...

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