Saturday, 19 November 2011

Numbered Troll Snarks

*Grumble. Why hasn't someone done a wiki of old jokes?*

Old joke: Guy goes to the Comedians' Convention. Various comedians get up and instead of telling jokes, use numbers, e.g.,'Number 345!' Some laughs at most. But uproarious hahahaha for one. Guy turns to comedian beside him: 'That was just another number. Wassup with that reaction?' Comedian says: 'It was the way she told it.'

There was another #occupytoronto event today, so of course, on Twitter, the bitter and twisted trolls trotted out all the old attempted snarks/snipes.

I suggested they take a page out of the comedians' convention and use numbers for Twitter brevity.

I helpfully started a list for #NumberedTrollSnarks. Twitter being what it is (and me being somewhat sloppy with hashtags), I have compiled a handy list here.

1. Get a job.

2. They're all dirty hippies.

2a. They're all spoiled rich kids.

2b. They're all paid union thugs.

3. They're all foreign/bussed in. (This one is well loved by despots the world over.)

4. The numbers are wildly inflated. (Also popular with above.)

5. It's the weekend, dummies. No one is there.

6. Boring!

7. It's a huge waste of taxpayer money and/or police resources.

8. They all have Iphones (computers etc.) and there is some kinda logical thingy here about protesting companies that make Iphones etc. that I just can't quite get, but wassup with that?

9. They should all move to Cuba/North Korea.

10. ALL-PURPOSE SNARK: You kids, get offa my lawn!

Now, I really don't expect the actual trolls to use these, but I've been amusing myself by replying with the number or numbers they've used.

Seems to piss them off.

Works for me.

3 comments:

Jymn Parrett said...

I find the Occupy trolls to be an interesting if twisted subject. What impels them to piss in another's pool? Why such vehemence? Why such anger?

My best guess is pure fear. Fear of what I can only guess at. Feeling left out? Seeing such freedoms waved in front of their locked-in lives? Jealousy?

Luna said...

My 34 year old asshole brother who still lives with Mom is regularly snarking about the "crazy assholes living in the park" and "why can't they do something useful?" etc. He thinks they're a nuisance and nothing more. He also thought they should gtfo the park for Remembrance Day or don't "wine [sic] if you get beaten or shot" *sigh*

Niles said...

Jymn, I really think Bob Altemeyer's piece on Authoritarian leaders and followers is required reading for, well, everyone.

Trolls seem,(if they're not state provocateurs looking to fracture alliances with doubt and falseflag ops) to pan out as the loyal authoritarian followers of one authoritarian ideology or another, who take it upon themselves to go forth and show their loyalty to the Powers That Be. It always reminds me of the WB cartoon with Spike and Rocky, where the little follower dog is always trying to please and emulate the big bully dog so he can bask in reflected glory and deflected rejection from the shelter of the powerful.

Hissing and spitting at Occupy and other upsetting shifts of power strikes me as constant public reinforcement of the idea the spitting follower is *notnotnot* the alienated Other, so please don't mistake them for the Other when the general retribution comes.

When punishment hits those who have done all in their subservient power to follow the rules and praise the powerful, they either double down and become more vociferous against the 'boat rockers' instead of the powerful who uncaringly swept them into the punishment, or they finally crack, realize the game is rigged.

Most of the people who talk about politicians et al being the same and not voting seem to be having a passive 'dropping out' to the 'rigged game' revelation. Occupy and its fellow protests seem to be an 'active' dropping out. A good old-fashioned sit-in. Making sure they are in the face of the powerful when they do it.

If Obama finally responds to people getting out in large noisy numbers as FDR told people to make *him* respond back in the '30s, I can see where the loyal trolls should be very afraid. Their leaders are working very hard to dismantle every sign of the social safety nets built since the '30s.

Openly admiring child labour as a way to replace unions is Gingrich's latest ploy. Maybe all of Dicken's works and North and South by Elizabeth Gaskell should be required reading as well.

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