Tuesday, 9 August 2011

Advice to the ladies re: ED

Researchers have found a new reason to blame women for being women in a study directed by sociologists at Cornell University and University of Chicago.
A wife who gets too chummy with her husband's best friends undermines his "autonomy and privacy," and may inadvertently be causing hubby's erectile dysfunction.

"Men who experience partner betweenness in their joint relationships are more likely to have trouble getting or maintaining an erection and are also more likely to experience difficulty achieving orgasm during sex," the lead authors write in the study, published in the current issue of the American Journal of Sociology.
From here.

One does wonder what that might suggest about Boiling Cat Piss in the bedroom - given the chummy connections Five Feet of Feces grooms with his RWNJ blogging buddies.


Niles said...

Partner betweeness? w..t...f...?

Ok, aside from the fact this pulled on data for people over the age of 56 --- If you, *if* you are so fortunate or unfortunate to be a man, (since I notice there is no study on this for women whose male mates mingle with Teh Grrlz-- per usual), mingle a het sexual mate with the homosociable bros Too MuchTM (whatever that standard may be), you get confused about who you're wanting to have sex with?

No...wait...if you mingle your het mate with your homosociable bros, you become anxious she's going to realize you've been isolating her from what a good lover could be to save your own sex life and you succumb to paranoic worries she's going to leave you for a more "alpha" male with a bigger sperm delivery system?

No, wait...your autonomy and privacy have been undermined, hence, letting the bitch loose among the dogs allows her to shred the dominance you've carefully built among your homosociables either by 'sharing' your foibles with them, or not cowing to your superior male position as the other males must, hence you can't get it up with her because she pointed and laughed in front of witnesses.

No, wait...if your het sexual mate mingles with your homosociables and you begin to see her as an equal human being capable of making independent friendships with people (men of course) you also know (rather than some personal services delivery system)she becomes too 'male' in your eyes and you aren't homosexual.

No, wait...you've been courting/bedding another woman outside the consent of your partnership and your homosociables know it, so if your official life partner associates with them and gains their approval and alliance, your chances of going undiscovered and without requiring to split domestic assets you deem are truly yours are rapidly approaching null zero.

No, wait...your heterosexual life partner, whose best friends might your homosociables or your homosociables' life partners or close relatives was friends with them first and you're feeling the pressure of being the newcomer to the relationship circle.

No, wait....you're over 56 years of age and you have no other reason to have erectile dysfunction beyond your life partner is a better friend to your male friends than you are. Your life partner, despite the possibility you both have known these male friends for decades, has no right to grind your awesome, unfettered virility into the ground by considering and treating them as her friends as well.

Really, Cornell? UofChi? REALLY?? Men are fragile glass whose vast rational powers implode helplessly into literal impotence on not having a completely gender-stratified environment? These would be the baby-boomer males now ruling the planet?

Or is this just another media chop job on scientific data to get 'teh poor menz haz to deal with uppity wimmins who ignore the Natural Law that their priapic priority is the praxis of propping up pricked partner primacy'

Niles said...

PS: I guess the reverse of this would "Yoko Ono Syndrome".

You know, where the woman comes between the ManTM and His MatesTM, but instead of becoming a better friend to the MatesTM and thereby crushing the spiritual and sexual life out of the ManTM, she lures the ManTM away with Teh VampSehxTM, destroying the homosociable bonds with those truly there for him and ruining him, just *ruining* him.

(There's an urban legend that *still* lingers)

fern hill said...

OMFG, Niles, you destroyed that. :D

I didn't get any further than 'partner betweenness in their joint' before started laughing and thinking I can't handle this right now.

And now I don't need to. Thanks.

Niles said...

huffhuffhuff(shredded scenery in hands ala little black animated duck with bloodshot eyes).

It's just. just. *why*. *who*. Unf**k them. Unf**k them very much. Unf**k them into a previous life's blueballed virginity. It's dogwhistling burqa demanding gender-silo asininity.

I need another tea.

Anonymous said...

There is a much more likely cause that these researchers seem to have purposefully ignored: Witchcraft.

According to ancient and venerable documents from the 1600s, if you take the unnaturally acting (read: not doing exactly and only what a man says) woman and burn her at the stake, she will no longer be able to use her witchy magicks to steal your manliness (stop your pecker from getting up).

deBeauxOs said...

As always we can count upon our co-blogger Niles to perform, banging home the perspective held by those members of the human race who are un/fortunately equiped with sperm delivery systems.

Dr.Dawg said...

Damn, that Niles is a hard act to follow! Kudos.

Niles said...

Ms DeBee,

Dr. D said 'hard'.

Anonymous said...

Here's a possibility: wives who are 'just one of the guys' are perceived as part of the group of friends, as real people. Wives who aren't might be easier to view more as a sexual object, resulting in easier erections, etc.

There's also the issue of correlation vs. causation. "They found sexual dysfunction in situations where a man's female partner enjoyed stronger relationships with his buddies than he did." - dysfunction wrt that particular partner, or dysfunction in general? If in general, maybe there's some other cause that results in *both* sexual dysfunction and weaker relationships generally - lack of self confidence perhaps? It might not be just weaker relationships compared to those of the female partner, it might be weak relationships overall.

deBeauxOs said...

Niles ... ssshhh. You'll only encourage him.

Toe said...

Maybe some men have trouble getting full erections because they shoot their own dicks off.

deBeauxOs said...

Ohhh, shoot!

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