Harper's unelected shadow minister* of political strategy Tom Flanagan is rumoured to be looking for a young, impressionable film-maker who will record Stephen Harper's considerable achievements.
Stephen Taylor was heard whining that, while he lacked the necessary expertise to be a successful candidate for the position, his total personal dedication to the awesome Harper should be the one and only qualification required.
Mesmerized by Harper's talent as a public speaker in both official languages, Taylor described the experience thus: "I had an almost apocalyptic vision that I was never able to forget. It seemed as if the earth's surface were spreading out in front of me, like a hemisphere that suddenly splits apart in the middle, spewing out an enormous jet of water, so powerful that it touched the sky and shook the earth." Taylor added: "To me, Harper is the greatest man who ever lived. He truly is without fault, so simple and at the same time possessed of masculine strength."
A draft Taylor wrote in anticipation of Harper's electoral success in winning a majority of Con seats was not published. Here is an excerpt: "With indescribable joy, deeply moved and filled with burning gratitude, we share with you, our leader, your and Canada's greatest victory. You exceed anything human imagination has the power to conceive, achieving deeds without parallel in the history of mankind. How can we ever thank you?"
Acquaintances of Taylor claim that he has an autographed copy of each of the 99 framed photographs of Harper that are currently hanging on the walls of the House of Commons.
*In that position, Flanagan adapted the "Big Lie" technique of propaganda, which is based on the principle that a lie, if audacious enough and repeated enough times, will be believed by the masses.
Note to the humour-challenged: the above lampooning is a satirical demonstration of Godwin's Law. However, it's daunting to note that elements of this spoof come uncomfortably close to reality.