DAMMIT JANET!

Ah, Sunday. We have some light cloud cover broken by beautiful patches of blue, and the sun is burning off the fog and sea mist which only partially obscures the bluffs across the river. Two littles are having breakfast: do not think in terms of cereal or porridge, set aside any memories of scrambled eggs and toast, the little grrrrrrrrrls decided they wanted chicken noodle soup and BLANCHE is a sucker for a hug and a lovely smile. BLANCHE decided to give them what they want. Seems to me if they don't get what they want now, when they're small, vulnerable and basically helpless, they might never know what it feels like to get what they want. And if they don't know what it feels like they might start to think NOT getting what you want is how it's supposed to be. Which could encourage them to accept whatever shite gets poured on their heads. In which case they might well grow up to accept any kind of shithouse political party and vote Con, which would, in fact, put a crack in BLANCHES' own heart, one which might never scar up but gape for all time.

So I made chicken noodle soup, and they have packed it away happily. Now they know how it feels to state your case, convince the stove nazi (me) and get what you want.

The furor seems to be dying down quite nicely. I must confess BLANCHE has been unmoved by most of it. I suspect geographically I live closer to China than I do to Ottawa. Certainly this past while I have FELT closer to almost anywhere you could name than I have felt to Ottawa. I kept getting cold shudders up my spine at the mere thought of Dion as PM. I'm sorry, but the guy is Canada's answer to Sominex and could put us all to sleep in no time flat. And with him at the helm where could the ship of state go but nowhere at all? Jack, well, hey, I'm not a fan of Smilin' Jack. He talks and has the believability of Howdie Doody. He speaks and I look for the teleprompter. And we all know there is no way in hell even the most cooperative coalition would entertain the idea of putting MY guy in the driver's seat. And yet, really , Duceppe is the only one who should have been given the chance.

BLANCHE sat out here on the very edge of everything and watched Harper's supporters froth and foment about "separatists" and it made me wonder why it is so absolutely anathema that Quebec demand the same things the Alberta-first crowd demands? Why is it treason when Quebec threatens to go it alone but it isn't treason when Westerners say the same thing.

But before I could get fraught, or even merely obsessed, I felt this entirely Canadian reaction take hold of my body. And I yawned. I did not feel the country was falling apart. I knew in my heart the Rocky Mountains would remain intact, the Great Lakes might be full of pollution but they would still be there when the noise subsided, and though the Arctic ice is shrinking, it is still there and would be regardless what transpired in front of the TV cameras.

There has been criticism of Michaëlle Jean's decision to prorogue. I think she did the right thing. She just sent them all off to their rooms to cool down. Well, if you can't play without fighting like ferrets you can each go to your room and sit there and think about things.

BLANCHE has done that with several generations. It works well. On those rare occasions when it doesn't work, BLANCHES' next move is down with the jeans and three whacks on the bare rump. There. Did you hear THAT? If you want to fight with someone, try fighting with me. Now BEHAVE PROPERLY!

That one has seldom failed.

Stevie needs his butt cheeks warmed for acting like a bully. Dion needs his butt cheeks warmed for insisting he wouldn't cooperate unless he could be boss of the sandbox. Jack needs his butt cheeks warmed for giving in to Dion and for seeming to forget there were women's issues to support and Duceppe needs his butt cheeks warmed because it wouldn't be fair to spank only three of them when there were four in the roiling mess.

Now go back to your room, sit on your spanked backsides, and ponder. There is one very inflexible rule and don't forget it: NOT IN THE HOUSE! You want to act like uncivilized jerks, take it outside.

And Michaëlle did well. Because Barak Obama is setting before the world his plans to try to do something about the economic mess. And all four of the bad little boys can take notes. My prediction is it will be Stevie who comes forward with the closest copy of Barak's plan. It gives him one of the few chances he will ever get to distance himself somewhat from Bush's butt crack, which is where his nose has been for the past several years. The others are more apt to try to adapt Barak's plan to something they've already had in mind. Stevie will just copy holus bolus.

He knows he hasn't "won". He hasn't "won" anything at all. He had to run to the Nanny and get her to save his bacon. Without her he would have been out of a job. And BLANCHE could live with that! Ohmigawsh, yes, BLANCHE would have no trouble at all with that. In fact , I could probably sit next to Mme. Dafarge and help her knit shrouds for the beheaded royals!

It's the mess that would have followed I wouldn't have liked. Because neither Jack nor Dion should sit where Stevie once sat. And until they grow up enough to put Gilles there, the seat should remain empty. Duceppe is the only one who has remained loyal to his beliefs and to his constituency. The other two were just game-playing, tap dancing in the spotlight and caving in shamelessly in the wings.