November 8, 2012: I started this blogpost back in April. But today I am INSPIRED! By this piece of
batshit lunacy by none other than Stephen Woodworth, he of
Woodworth's Wank, aka M312 or The Motion to Reopen the Abortion Debate That Was Thumped in Parliament Six Weeks Ago But That Certain Fetus Fetishists Won't Shut the Fuck Up About.
Now, back to April, 2012:
In the comments
here, Ruaidhr said:
I've never been able to figure out why people can't understand how irrelevant "when life begins" is to the discussion.
You could implant Mahatma Ghandi in me, and it wouldn't take away my right to say "get him out of there!"
Which, of course, is a variant on Ye Olde 'What If [insert esteemed person's name]'s Mother Had Aborted Him' schtick. (It's almost invariably a 'Him', BTW.) Ruaidhr is original though. I've never seen Gandhi implanted before, only aborted.
Commenter Godel Noodle gives one of the standard rejoinders to that one. HIs specific is 'horrible abortion doctor', but Hitler, Stalin,
Stephen Harper, etc., can also be inserted depending on audience.
Sensing we had a newbie to the Abortion Debate®, I sent GN to the
Lame Abortion Analogies Hall of Fame.
But, gotcha! It isn't actually LAAHF. GN thought such a thing would be a grande idée.
I got googling. But to give GN a taste of the wished-for hell a-coming', I linked to JJ's Way Back Machine for
Justice for Unborn TV Sets.
Here we have
cars and eagle's nests. (And to answer any newbie's question at this point: No. There is nowhere they won't go.)
Unwanted automobile passengers is a standard. Another fave is body functions or body parts.
This one involves a party, unconsciousness, and surprise at being connected to someone who is using your
kidney for nine months.
There are many variants on that one,
Thomson's Violinist being the classic.
More on kidneys, specifically selling them, from
deBeauxOs and
JJ.
Slavery is often conjured up but as
Ms Magazine observes, it works better for pro-choice.
The problem here is that the slavery analogy only makes sense if you believe having an abortion is somehow equivalent to owning a human being. (It isn’t.)
. . .
The slavery analogy makes much more sense as an argument for choice, not against it. Slavery is about losing one’s freedom and personal autonomy over one’s body and life. As Margaret Sanger, founder of Planned Parenthood, so eloquently put it: “No woman can call herself free who does not own and control her body. No woman can call herself free until she can choose consciously whether she will or will not be a mother.”
Then there's the
Hitler-holocaust SHRIEEEEEK and its associated
genocide SHRIEEEEEK.
Big Nurse Stanek magicks
population control, China's one-child policy, eco-Nazis, death panels, and what-not.
And then there's the ever-popular
unpopular house guest analogy.
They all rely on migraine-inducing pretzel logic and wildly absurd 'what-ifs'. They all
FAIL.
Now here's someone who knows a thing or two about both
analogies and pregnancy.
Having sat through too many evangelical sermons in my younger life, I’ve developed a strong resistance to arguments that draw on analogy. Most of the sermons I endured as a teenager and young adult were heavy-laden with analogies; now I can’t help seeing them as a recourse for lazy-mindedness (not always deliberate) and tendentiousness (usually deliberate). They’re useful for when you want others to believe something for which you don’t have concrete evidence, or which may contain many different truths that are unendingly complex, and the analogy helps you to focus on a single one.
. . .
Pregnancy is not much like organ donation; and it is certainly nothing even potentially akin to being a slave-owner or a (female supremacist) Nazi. (Seriously: those two last ones are central arguments of the anti-abortion movement’s desire to enshrine fetal rights. Anti-abortion advocates imagine that pro-choice women see fetuses as “subhuman”; therefore, much like Nazis and slave owners, they allow them to be eliminated at will. That leap of (ana)logic leads directly into the abyss of manipulativeness and dishonesty.) I’ve always seen the abortion-is-murder analogy as a shocking distortion of the reality of an unwanted pregnancy and the maternal-fetal relationship.
Actually in my googles, I found one that does work. Oddly, it's
pro-choice.
Let's return to the tendentiousness that Woody rolled out in
M312, Fixed-Wing Technology and Ballooning. (See? There really is
nowhere they won't go.)
Here's the last patronizing sentence:
Now do you understand the relationship between Motion 312 and abortion?
Indeed, we do, Woody. And did right from the start, despite your relentless duplicitousness.
BONUS! I found the elusive
parrot-in-a-cage analogy. It was in the comments, now sadly memory-holed, at SUZYALLCAPSLOCK's place, but preserved for eternity by Canadian Cynic.
EXTRA BONUS: JJ explains the fetus =
polaroid picture analogy I mention in the comments. Definitely one for the Hall of Fame!