WTF? Honouring the dead? Please explain

Seriously, I really don't understand 'honouring the dead'. Really. Seriously.

When I was 20, my husband of six months was killed in a workplace 'accident'. Four years later, my father died.

I think I know something about death, but I know nothing about honouring the dead.

I watched the big memorial thingy at the University of Arizona tonight. (I lived in AZ for about six months a generation ago and it was nucking futs about guns then.) Obama had a bully pulpit to speak about the national discourse. He didn't have to get political. Though some reference to 'rhetoric' might have been good.

Instead, it was all glurge.

Here is Andrew Sullivan on the glurge-fest.

Obama FAIL. US FAIL. World fucked.

If someone can explain 'honouring the dead', I'd be grateful.