Tuesday, 28 July 2015

Police charge alleged cupcake enforcer with assault.

Ottawa police have laid additional charges against a 75-year-old woman who is accused of approaching men and forcing them to eat cupcakes.

Gwen Landbrauchen was initially charged after police investigated several complaints about a woman approaching men during daytime hours in Orleans.

Police said that on July 8 and 9, a woman had approached three different men in incidents around the transit station at Place d'Orleans.

Police said that the woman would offer a cupcake from a Rubbermaid™ container she carried. If the victim refused, she would put the tasty treat against the man's face and threaten to make him eat it for his own good. 

Sometimes she would shout "Lebensmittel!" at them.  If the woman was confronted about her actions by the men she was attempting to feed, she would speak in a foreign language.

According to police, new victims have come forward, prompting additional charges.

Landbrauchen is facing four counts of assault. She appeared briefly in court by video Monday to face new charges.

One of the victims interviewed on condition of anonymity said that, had the cupcake enforcer been a MILF like Catherine Deneuve in a black leather jumpsuit yelling at him in French, he thinks he might have enjoyed the experience.

Since the alleged assailant is a wizened, cranky old lady muttering in German, he didn't like it so much. He added: "I think that it was a just a crummy Loblaws bran muffin with stale icing from a can."

Another victim, also requesting anonymity, said that his colleagues at work taunted him about filing a complaint.

"They kept mocking me, asking why I didn't punch her in the face or shove the cupcake down her throat. I don't engage in violence unless my life is threatened.  But I had to report her to the police. Even if she's someone's granny who's suffering from dementia.  She can't be allowed to force people to eat cupcakes. What if somebody choked on it and died?"

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This is the news item that inspired the above spoof.  Think about the misogynist messages that media reinforce when they trivialize unwanted physical or sexual actions directed at women. 

Update: "Kissing bandit" was originally used by The Citizen, that acknowledged it was an inappropriate choice of terms, and changed it online.

If you think that media narratives using half-truths and prejudices don't create and cement false perceptions, read this powerful deconstruction of the NYT coverage of the infamous Kitty Genovese femicide.

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