Friday, 27 April 2012

Sex: pre-death or post-life? Discuss

DAMMIT JANET! has learned that Monsanto International is currently in the process of seeking approval from Health Canada to proceed with the wide agricultural exploitation and industrial application of
genetically modified garlic. Substances in this GMO would replace formaldyhyde and many other conservation and preservation agents in the food and funeral industry.

Corporate interests in Alberta are keen to obtain from Monsanto an exclusive agreement for a world-wide franchise for this product since it appears to flourish on land that has been ravaged by tarsands development.

As a result of this extraordinary scientific break-through, a Catholic Conservative MP has been quietly exploring how to correctly articulate the text of his private members bill. He hopes to set up:
a special committee of the House be appointed and directed to review the declaration in Section 182 of the Criminal Code of Canada which states that every one who neglects, without lawful excuse, to perform any duty that is imposed on him by law or that he undertakes with reference to the burial of a dead human body or human remains, or improperly or indecently interferes with or offers any indignity to a dead human body

to answer the questions hereinafter set forth;

(i) what medical evidence exists to demonstrate that a woman is no longer able to give consent to sexual activity after death?,

(ii) is the preponderance of medical evidence consistent with the declaration in Section 183 that a female body is actually dead?,

(iii) what are the legal impact and consequences of Subsection 182 on the fundamental human rights of a Catholic husband to enjoy conjugal rights with his legal wife before and after the moment of complete death,?

(iv) what are the options available to Parliament in the exercise of its legislative authority in accordance with the availability of scientifically developed products and applications that extend or alter the definition of human life?

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If you consider this spoof to be over-the-top, please consider the rather interesting ideological positions and historical practices of the Catholic Church, with regard to allowing the desecration of people, post-life.
The cult of relics gave a reason for digging up, boiling and dismembering dead bodies, a practice that must have appealed to necrophiliacs, and perhaps other sexual deviants. Sometimes crowds would gather when a saint was known to be dying, ready to dismember him or her while still warm. Dismembered limbs of saints are still popular, and may be seen slowly decomposing in tens of thousands of churches around the world. Bodies are still occasionally dug up to remove fingers or limbs as relics, as happened for example to Eva Peron.

The idea for the above blogpost came from Godel Noodle who alerted me to this islamophobic nonsense.


harebell said...

I believe one of the other religions of the book might have beaten the christ bothereres to it

Námo Mandos said...

Um, um, see dBO's link re Islamophobia.

There's lots of reasons to point fingers at Muslim countries re women. But correct funeral practice is generally of utmost seriousness in Muslim countries, that I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop after I read about the "Necrophilia Law". There are lots of *believable* objectionable things that they're likely to do.

Niles said...

The fetus fetishists already have their cult of relics. Those gory pictures of dismembered fetoi. They have icons of them everywhere and tell people they're going to burn in a lake of fire for all eternity for not worshipping them.

I'd still like to know where they're getting them. And why they cover them in ketchup.

deBeauxOs said...

What Mandos said.

Though the ridic link Godel Noodle sent me did provoke a savage reflection on Wankworth's next move.

Some far more delightfully *evul* folks on Twitter are running with the notion.

harebell said...

I didn't point it out because I'm islamaphobic, I rail regularly against all forms of organised superstition.
I just pointed it out because it referred to the views of one senior cleric and it seemed appropriate given the above post proposed a single catholic zealot might do likewise.
The purpose of the comment was to illustrate that irrationality due to superstitious dogma is universal within the communities that glorify such dogma.

deBeauxOs said...

Indeed, and that was the point I tried to make with my post, is that as Mark Steyn pointed out in an item that was deliberately anti-muslim, that any one can use religious text (in or out of context) to justify their own pathological views and needs.

deBeauxOs said...

There are folks on Twitter whose sense of humour are even more twisted than DJ!

To wit, this and this.

Godel Noodle said...

The idea for the above blogpost came from Godel Noodle who alerted me to this islamophobic nonsense.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! I'm flattered, but my little brain doesn't get sophisticated political spoof ideas like that! The *idea* for this was all you, deBeauxOs. I can only admire stuff like this.

I just encountered said Islamophobic nonsense, went "EW!" at the misogyny, and then, "OH! I see, it's fake. Then still 'EW!' but for an entirely different reason. Wow, that's...kind of intricate. Oh! Oh, I've GOT to show this to deBeauxOs!"

Anyway, well done! I'm actually still digesting the subtleties in the four alternate questions and trying to understand the Monsanto garlic reference. I'm quite familiar with Monsanto, but GM garlic...? Can you give me a hint?

deBeauxOs said...

Heh. I was trying to imagine a "scientific" angle to the story, and given that the Harper Regime is notoriously anti-science there would have to be some MASSIVE pro-corporate lobby involved.

Garlic is a natural preservative, and various mythology around the use of it as a way of repelling *undeath* abounds.

As for the spoof motion, I just took Woodworth's M312 and took some devilish liberties with it.

Voilà - now you know all my cheap tricks.

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