Wednesday, 25 May 2011

SHRIEEEEK! Oh. Never mind.

The first tell was the source: the Onion. Next was the dateline: Topeka, Kansas (you remember, same rabidly fetus-fetishist state where Dr. Tiller was assassinated). Next the headline: Planned Parenthood Opens $8 Billion Abortionplex.

Sane and non-humour-impaired people would have twigged by now. Here's the third paragraph quoting PP's prez, Cecile Richards:
"Although we've traditionally dedicated 97 percent of our resources to other important services such as contraception distribution, cancer screening, and STD testing, this new complex allows us to devote our full attention to what has always been our true passion: abortion," said Richards, standing under a banner emblazoned with Planned Parenthood's new slogan, "No Life Is Sacred." "And since Congress voted to retain our federal funding, it's going to be that much easier for us to maximize the number of tiny, beating hearts we stop every day."

Totally typical Onion. Waaaaay over the top. Punching all the ff buttons. 900,000 square feet. 2,000 procedure rooms. Terminating one pregnancy every 3 seconds for a monthly total of 'almost a million'. Shuttle service from area schools.

There's even a floor plan, showing the location of various amenities, including an incinerator 'capable of cremating more than 40 tons of fetuses at a time'.

Given their proclivity to a bit of hyperbole themselves, it was inevitable that the fetus fetishists would fall for it.

Read some of their MASSIVELY OUTRAGED SHRIEEKS here.

1 comment:

Beijing York said...

The Facebook screen captures of reactions at that La Figa site are rabidly funny.

This one doesn't even make any sense:

Mother Theresa says: "The fruit of abortion is nuclear war." Buying contraception, which is a silent abortion, is keeping planned parenthood alive.

Like WTF does that even mean?

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