Blame feminism?

Yesterday a lonely, isolated, suicidal man pulled out a rifle during a dance aerobics class in a fitness centre, and started shooting the women in the room. According to a personal diary he posted online, he had been planning this act of public violence for months because of increasing frustration with women who refused his advances.

Law enforcement officials confirmed media reports on the shooter's identity and said the diary appeared to be authentic.

In the diary, Mr. Sodini said that he had not had a girlfriend since 1984, and had not had sex since July 1990, when he was 29. “I actually look good,” Mr. Sodini wrote in an entry dated Dec. 29, 2008. “I dress good, am clean-shaven, bathe, touch of cologne — yet 30 million women rejected me — over an 18 or 25-year period. That is how I see it. Thirty million is my rough guesstimate of how many desirable single women there are.

“A man needs a woman for confidence. He gets a boost on the job, career, with other men, and everywhere else when he knows inside he has someone to spend the night with and who is also a friend.”

There are many men who feel this way. There are also many women who would like to find a boyfriend/lover/life partner, as well as gay men and lesbians who deplore the fact that they are alone when they long to be in a couple relationship.

Yet most of them do not blame the objects of their desire for their inability to attract and "secure" a girlfriend or a boyfriend. While some may radiate hostility and resentment towards the target of their attention when that person deflects or discourages these attempts to initiate some form of intimacy, rarely do they follow the exit strategy this man chose.

Fury? Hate? Absolutely. This man felt entitled to the benefits of a relationship and, unsuccessful in his efforts to establish a connection with one woman, decided to murder as many women as possible before ending his own life.

I expect some fundamentalist religious rightwingnuts like Rush Limbaugh will blame feminism for this act of violence. Others who have observed and analyzed male behaviour have put forward pro-active, thoughtful, positive and realistic solutions for men to address their issues.