Here. Let me help you with those analogies.

Who knew that Roman Catholic Church Cardinals were also physicians? Oh wait. Probably not this one.
A senior Roman Catholic cardinal has suggested that the Anglican Church may be “suffering from spiritual Alzheimer’s”.

Speaking at a plenary session of the Lambeth Conference, Cardinal Ivan Dias, of the Vatican’s Congregation for Evangelisation, also indicated that perhaps the Anglican Communion had “ecclesial Parkinson’s”.

Now, as someone who vicariously reads the Index section of the Merck Manual of Medical Diagnosis that my daughter left behind when she graduated from Med school and moved on to become a real physician, I know what’s involved. I cruise through the various symptoms list and I start getting a tad worried. Or inspired, as the case may be.

If one were a RCC cardinal - say, and one heard the hoofbeats of a profound doctrinal challenge, one might think: Heresy. And then one could grab the Merck for ’substantive’ analogies.

In a joint statement, the Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s Disease societies criticised the Cardinal. They said: “Seeing the challenges faced by people with Parkinson’s disease or dementia trivialised by comments from such a prominent public figure is demoralising.

Thus a cardinal takes the liberty of diagnosing the speck in his neighbour’s eye, but does not notice the log in his own eye. (Matthew 7: 3-5) I recognize that game. Here are some suggestions for Cardinal Ivan Dias.

The RCC episcopacy holds the ordination of women as priests in contempt? Liturgical hypergonadism!

The Pope dictates the terms of women’s sexual and reproductive activities? Bound by fecal impaction of dogma!

RCC clergymen sexually abuse female and male children? Paedophilia. NOT an analogy but a malignant condition that has plagued the RCC for centuries.

A certain cardinal exploits medical conditions to attract media attention? Spin Munchausen syndrome by proxy!
Whenever the Catholic clergy stray into the fields of medical research in order to pontificate and pronounce the party line, they look like idjits. See Virgin Eggs Over Easy, Hold The Sperm and Poached Nuts on Research Menu, Hold the Eggs.

As for me and my out-of-date, dog-eared, tattered Merck, I sure do hope that my daughter is not reading this particular blog post because she may remove the manual permanently, as she keeps threatening to do so … for my own good.

Originally posted at Birth Pangs.